Into The Hurricane
by x.Myownway.x
Summary: After Dave attacks Kurt, he's sent to an institution to help him, he's getting better, making progress and then he meets Blaine; a young troubled boy who suffers from a sex addiction. For Blaine sex means he's worth something. Can they help each other get better? Or does Blaine just make Kurt worse? AU!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I really enjoyed writing this (It's the longest part 1 i have ever written) It's completely different to anything that i have ever read or written myself. So I'm excited about it. **

**The chapters will be split into 2, one chapter will be in Kurt's POV and the next will be in Blaine's. **

**Warnings: This is completely AU! I've taken our boys and popped them into my own little messed up world. **

**This story contains OCD behaviour, Violence, Sex, Swearing... A lot of nasty things. You have been warned. **

**Thank you to Shelly who worked really hard being my beta for this story and coming up with the amazing title; Into the Hurricane. Neither of us are sure of the tenses in this story, I suck with tenses and I confused Shelly a bit so if anyone has any idea where I am going wrong with the tenses can you please help :D **

**Enough of my ramblings... on with the story. **

**Chapter 1 - Kurt**

The room's bright; white walls with no personal touches, white bed sheets folded strictly over the small metal frame against the corner of the room, a small white chest of drawers against the other wall. It's home. It's plain. It's safe. Kurt taps his feet against the cold tiled floor. One. Two. Three taps and he stands up. He walks to his chest of the draws slowly. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. He opens it again and takes out a white tee, he closes the drawer and opens it again three times. Always three times. He repeats this as he gets his trousers out, blue jeans that don't scratch his legs. He doesn't like it when things scratch his skin. He gets his boxers out. White. Clean. He can smell the washing detergent on his clothes. He breathes it in. Tells himself that it's all clean. No dirt. He lays his outfit on his made bed, stares at them. He doesn't miss colour. His dad tells him about the flamboyant clothes that he used to wear. It wasn't him. He wouldn't wear leather. Leather sweats. Leather smells. Leather is dirty. He would never wear knitted sweaters down to his knee. Dirt gets trapped in the wool. The material rips apart. No. That wasn't him.

Kurt spends an hour in the shower. He washes himself three times. He washes his hair three times. He counts to three once he turns the shower off before getting out. He dries himself and gets dressed. He opens the door, closes it, opens, closes, opens, closes it, opens it and walks out. He looks at the clock, almost seven am. He's early today. He frowns, what hadn't he done? He goes through his routine, his hands scratching at his skin. He's forgotten to do something. Something bad will happen to him now, he's forgotten something. His hand comes to his mouth quickly. He remembers and rushes to the bathroom. Opens the door. Closes the door. Opens. Closes. Opens. Closes. He rushes in and brushes his teeth. He forces the bristles against his gums, on his tongue, makes sure his teeth are clean. He rinses his mouth and he hears knocking on the door. His name is called. He rushes out. Rushes back to the door. Repeats the opening and closing of the door three times and runs a hand through his hair. 7:05. He's late. His door opens and he stares as his mentor walks in. "Kurt, are you okay?"

"I'm late!" Kurt says, his voice coming out in a high pitched panic. "The breakfast line moved two minutes ago. I'm late."

"Shh. Kurt it's okay." His mentor, Charlie is a middle aged man with nice brown eyes, he's friendly and he is one of the only workers who gets Kurt to talk. "We're doing something different today, remember we spoke about breaking your routine."

"Breakfast line will be over in ten minutes." Kurt says rocking on his feet. His belly should be rumbling now, he's sure he's hungry. "Nine minutes now."

"I have your breakfast here." Charlie holds up a brown paper bag. "Remember, breaking the routine."

"Is it clean? It's Thursday, I have bread and cereal on Thursday."

"It's a breakfast bun. It's in the packet, Susie put it in the bag. You like Susie."

"She uses hand sanitizer just as much as me." Kurt nods, staring at the bag. "I can't eat from a bag."

"We're going to eat in my office. We have a new boy joining us today, he's going to be next door to you." Charlie explains. Kurt looks to the wall on his left and frowns. "I know you like the quiet but there's no other rooms left."

"He'll need a room." Kurt sighs crossing his arms. "Seven minutes."

"You don't need the breakfast line remember." Charlie holds up the bag again and Kurt nods slowly. "Okay, you ready to go?"

"I don't need a jacket. It's not cold." Kurt says as he walks forward.

"That's right." Charlie smiles and leads Kurt out of the room, watching with a fond smile as Kurt opens and closes his door three times. "We're going to work on doing things only two times soon."

"No. Three." Kurt says and walks along the hallway, he doesn't touch the walls. They're dirty. The cleaner cleans the floors. He doesn't touch the walls. Charlie nods slowly, he can tell Kurt isn't in a good mood to try today. "Who is the new boy?"

"His name is Blaine," Charlie says softly. "I think he needs a friend."

"He won't want me as a friend. No one does." They get to the door to Charlie's office and Charlie opens the door. Kurt watches the door, stares at the handle and looks at Charlie. "Do you know how much bacteria is on that handle? The cleaner doesn't clean it. I've seen him."

"I know, you told me yesterday." Charlie says softly. "Want to close it?"

"Dirty." Kurt mumbles. Charlie closes it once and Kurt stares at the door, his stomach aching, hands itching. It's not closed properly. It needs to be opened. Secrets will float out. People will know. He scrambles to the door, opens it, closes it, opens it, closes it, opens it, closes it. It's closed now. He stares at his hands. They're dirty. "I don't have it!" Kurt says loudly, startling Charlie who is shaking hands with a man that had been sitting patiently at his desk. Kurt hadn't even noticed him, and he hadn't noticed the young boy standing awkwardly beside him.

"What don't you have, Kurt?" Charlie asks, a little worried. Kurt hasn't freaked out like this in a long time.

"Hand sanitizer. I touched the handle. It's dirty." Kurt rambled, his eyes fixated on his hands.

"It's okay. I have some." Charlie grabs a new bottle from his drawer and walks over to Kurt, squeezing a generous amount on his hands, and watching as Kurt scrubs his hands. He doesn't stop until they're red raw, but Charlie doesn't stop him until he is finished. "Better?"

"Better." Kurt nods and looks up at the boy who is watching him like a hawk.

"I'm not staying here!" The boy says looking at the man Kurt assumed was his father. They both had crazily curly hair, only the boy had so much gel in his hair that his curls weren't bouncy like his dad's. "You can't expect me to stay with these freaks."

"Blaine!" His father snapped. "They're not freaks, they have issues, just like you. You're staying here until you're better. Charlie thinks this is best for you."

"Charlie just wants me here so i can please him twenty four hours a day." Blaine smirks. Kurt doesn't like the smirk. He doesn't like Blaine.

"That is enough. I will come and see you in a week. You can phone me if you need me," His father stands and looks at Charlie almost desperately.

"Say bye to your dad, Blaine." Charlie says. Kurt thinks he sounds like he's talking to a child. But Blaine is acting like one so that's okay.

"Please dad, don't leave me." Blaine whispers. "I'll be better."

"I'll see you in a week, you can call me whenever you want, okay?" He rubs his son's shoulder and Kurt misses his dad. It's nearly Saturday. That makes him smile. Kurt doesn't hear what else Blaine has to say, he's too busy thinking about seeing his dad. Blaine's father says something to him, Kurt waves awkwardly and watches him close the door.

"Blaine, this is Kurt. He's going to be your guide today." Charlie says and looks at Kurt slowly. "It's going to be fun, isn't it?"

"I doubt that." Kurt says and walks forward, he sits on the chair and rests his hands on his lap. "I've missed breakfast now."

"You have your breakfast here." Charlie puts his bag in front of him and puts an identical bag beside it. "And so has Blaine. Now you can have breakfast here, get to know each other."

"How about we say goodbye to him and me and you get to know each other a little more, Charlie," Blaine whispers leaning forward against Charlie, a hand reaches out to Charlie's belt buckle and Kurt gasps. What the Hell was Blaine doing?

"Blaine." Charlie took his hand and pushed it away. "Sit down and eat your breakfast." Blaine pouts but sits down, he looks at Kurt and smirks again. Kurt ignors him, opens his breakfast and stares at the wrapping, it looked clean. Susie was a clean lady. He opens it and breaks it into pieces before starting to eat. All the while ignoring Blaine who was watching him intently. He knew today wouldn't be fun, and there was no way he was going to be friends with him.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has added this story to their alerts already. I'm so shocked but happy and very excited. And to my 3 amazing reviewers you deserve some cake :D **

**Thanks to my amazing friend Shelly for being amazing, she too deserves some cake. **

**I already have the next part written up so if i get some nice comments maybe i will post part 3 today too :D**

**Chapter 1 – Blaine **

Rough hands roamed down his body, nails scraping against his sensitive skin. He was pulled closer, the hard body grinding against his back, sour breath breathing against his ear. "Such a dirty little boy aren't you." He sneered. Blaine hummed, bending his back slightly and pushing his ass back against the man's groin. The man was hard, he wanted him. "Going to be my good boy?" He slurred, hands fumbling drunkenly at his belt buckle. Blaine nodded, dropping his own trousers, smirking when he received an appreciative moan. "Fuck, you look so good." That was all it took for his want and need to take over. Blaine was pushed hard against the wall, he was sure he was going to have bruises on his shoulders from where they made impact. "Going to fuck you so hard you're going to feel me for weeks." Blaine heard the sound of a condom wrapper being opened and he rolled his eyes, he wanted to get fucked. Needed to get fucked. He pushed his ass up, wiggling it. A hard hand hit his right cheek and he moaned at how good the slight pain felt. "Oh you like that?" He laughed. Blaine nodded and pushed his hips back more, any contact was good. Blaine was spanked again, he lost count of how many times the older man hit his ass, he didn't care. It felt good. The man was whispering dirty words in his ear, soon that wasn't enough and his legs were being spread. Something hard and slick was being pushed against his hole and the man – whose name Blaine was trying so hard to remember – was pushing in and out of him, using him for his own pleasure and fucking the curly haired boy against the dirty toilet cubicle door.

It wasn't the best fuck, it definitely wouldn't have Blaine thinking of the man for weeks like he had promised. In fact there wasn't even a slight burn as he walked. Blaine sighed, his hair was a mess and he could feel sweat and come dripping down his body. Once the man had come inside of him, moaning that Blaine was nothing but a slut, he had zipped up and walked out. Blaine was used to it. It didn't bother him. He didn't do small talk, he wouldn't see the man again, he wouldn't even remember him by next week. Blaine walked through the club wishing he could stay longer, his body was already burning with the need to feel another's hand on his, but he had to go. He swayed his hips teasingly as he walked past many eyes that were glued to him. Several of the men had used him in the past, others were desperate to use him now. Blaine just walked out, wrapped his light leather jacket around himself and walked through the back streets until he was home.

"Fuck." Blaine groaned when he saw the lights on. His dad was waiting for him. Blaine didn't need to reach for his keys, the door was pulled open so roughly Blaine was surprised it managed to stay on the hinges. "Hello dad, it's late what are you doing up?" Blaine smiled, feigning innocence as he walked past his angry father.

"Blaine." His father simply sighed.

"Yes daddy?" Blaine smiled, blinking his eyes up at his father.

"Don't…" He sighed. "Go and shower, we need to talk." Blaine sighed but did as his father told him. He loved his father, it wasn't his fault that he was useless. They had been through a lot as a family and sometimes Blaine wished he could be better for him. But most of the time, he didn't give a shit about what his father thought of him. It was his father's fault he had turned out like this.

The shower felt good on his skin. He washed and scrubbed, trying to get rid of any evidence of the man from the club. Staring at his reflection in the mirror Blaine's eyes wondered over all the bruises and bites and scratches that littered his skin. Each one a reminder that someone wanted him. Blaine pulled on his sweat pants and his old school hooded jumper, before walking down to see what his father wanted. It was late and all he wanted to do was sleep, he didn't want to go and listen to his father lecture him about safe sex, or hear that he was better than what he had become. Though his father had never said it, Blaine was sure his father thought him as a slut.

"What's this?" Blaine frowned as he walked into the kitchen, there was a plate of cookies and two mugs of hot chocolate waiting for him.

"We need to talk." His father said and pushed the hot chocolate towards him. Shrugging, Blaine sat down and took a sip, his mouth watering at the taste. His dad made the best hot chocolate. "We used to drink this in flasks when we went camping, do you remember?"

"We used to burn marshmallows." Blaine smiled, letting the memory wash over him.

"I miss those days." His father whispered. Blaine looked up at him, his heart felt guilty. His behaviour was hurting his dad.

"Me too." Blaine admitted quietly.

Blaine's father gasped, he hadn't expected his son to be so honest. "I know we…I have a lot in my life that I need to make up for, a lot of it I know I could…"

Blaine looked down, he took a cookie and started to break it up. He didn't want to talk about this. It hurt. "It's okay."

"It's not." His father said strongly. "I'm trying so hard, Blaine. I know I keep making mistakes. And I know I could never know what you've been through… But I want to help you. I was talking to Dr Charlie today."

"You were?" Blaine whispered. Blaine liked Charlie, he would never admit it, but he was a kind man. He had helped, listened, he had suffered many times when Blaine had come on to him, Blaine was sure he had even had to go through an investigation when Blaine had pushed him against the wall, his secretary had walked in on them as Charlie was pushing him away.

"There's a space at the Lima Young Boys Institution." His father said cautiously. He didn't know how his son would take it.

"No!" Blaine said shaking his head. "You can't send me away. Please."

"It's not forever." His father whispered. "Just for a couple of weeks or so. I don't know how to help you Blaine. I don't know how to help you see that you are more than this. You are a beautiful, smart young man and you're letting these people hurt you."

"They want me!" Blaine snapped. "They love me!"

"No. They're using you!" His father shouted, banging his hand on the table making his drink spill. "I'm sorry."

"I hate you." Blaine spat pushing the plate of cookies on the floor, the crashing sound making him feel better. "It was your fault he hurt me so much!"

"Do you think I don't know that?" His father sighed, tears of frustration and desperation pouring from his eyes. "I blame myself every day. I wish I had known. I wish I could have stopped him. I wish I could have killed him when I had the chance!" He gritted out.

"I wish you had too." Blaine sobbed. "Please don't send me away."

"I just…I need you safe. This is the only way for now." He pulled his son into his arms, glad that he didn't push him away. "You go tomorrow, you need to pack a bag. Books, DVD's anything you want okay?"

"Kay." Blaine whispered, breathing in the comforting scent that was his father.

"I love you Blaine. This is going to be good for you." He whispered, knowing tomorrow his son would freak out again. "You want me to help you pack?" Blaine just nodded mutely.

"It looks nice, doesn't it?" Blaine's dad said as he parked the car outside of the institution. Blaine looked out of the window and pulled his legs to his chest, he shook his head. The white building stood out against the bright green grass, everything looked forced about it. Too perfect, too chirpy. The flowers even looked too beautiful. Blaine would have felt better if the roof was falling down and there was dead grass and rotting walls. "I know it's scary, but it's for the best."

"You just want to get rid of me." Blaine mumbled looking away from his dad.

"No. I don't. I love you. I'm going to be phoning every day."

"On what? You took my phone away." Blaine mumbled.

"I know, but I got you this one." He whispered handing him a box. Blaine raised an eyebrow and opened the box, it was the phone he had been begging his father for. "I got it modified. Charlie said if you were to have a phone it would have to be blocked, It has all of your games and favourite music on there, but you can only call or text me."

Blaine nodded and smiled shyly. He flicked through it and smiled when he saw all the pictures his dad had put in, they were all of the two of them when everything had been better. "You promise you're going to visit me?"

"Every Saturday." His father promised. "Come on." Blaine got out of the car slowly, he followed his father in and kept his eyes trained on the floor. "It looks nice, you can make some new friends too."

"Maybe." Blaine sighed. So far everything seemed normal. They met a receptionist that led them through to Charlie's office. As they walked there they passed a games room, a movie room, a library. Everything seemed normal. Blaine liked that, maybe he could stay here and get help if everything was normal.

Blaine and his father stood in an awkward silence. His father wanted to constantly reassure him that everything was going to be okay, and Blaine wanted to beg him not to leave him here. The silence was disturbed when the door opened. Blaine turned his head and raised an eyebrow when he saw a young boy, around his age staring at the door with what could only be fear in his eyes. The boy looked plain. Handsome, with pale skin and brown hair that was styled nicely on his head, but the plain clothes did nothing to make what Blaine assumed was a very perfect body look good.

As Blaine daydreamed about what the boy would look like against the wall, his jeans at his ankles and his hair a sweaty mess on his head, he figured he must have missed something because the boy was screaming and rambling now about hand sanitizer and the door being dirty. Blaine shook his head. The sexy plain boy was nothing but a freak.

"I'm not staying here!" Blaine snapped turning to his dad who was watching the young boy curiously, turning his attention to his son when he started talking. "You can't expect me to stay here with these freaks!"

"Blaine!" His father snapped back shaking his head. How could his son call another boy who was clearly scared of him a freak? "They're not freaks. They have issues just like you! You're staying here until you're better. Charlie thinks it's best for you." Blaine shook his head, he didn't want to listen. He was angry now. His father didn't want him. He was just trying to get rid of him.

"Charlie just wants me here so I can please him twenty four hours a day!" Blaine spat looking at Charlie who was watching them both.

"That is enough. I will come and see you in a week. You can phone me if you need me," His father stood and looked at Charlie almost desperately.

"Say bye to your dad, Blaine." Charlie said and it hits Blaine hard that his father is actually going to leave him here.

"Please dad, don't leave me." Blaine whispered. "I'll be better."

"I'll see you in a week, you can call me whenever you want, okay?" He rubbed his son's shoulder and walked out, waving awkwardly to the boy in the corner. Blaine glared at the boy, how dare he wave to his dad?

"Blaine, this is Kurt. He's going to be your guide today." Charlie said and looked at Kurt slowly, a silent comment passing between them. "It's going to be fun, isn't it?"

"I doubt that." The boy, Kurt, mumbled and Blaine glared at him more.

Blaine ignored the conversation that passed between Kurt and Charlie. He doesn't care what he has to say. He just knows that he doesn't like Kurt and he wasn't going to let anyone make comments about him like Kurt had. Charlie tells Blaine to sit down at the desk and Blaine does so, pouting. He had always liked Charlie, but now he was really wondering why. Blaine watched as Kurt ate his breakfast, he felt like he was watching a weird animal at the zoo. He smirked to himself, feeling Kurt shift beside him. He was making him uncomfortable; good. As Charlie told him more about how his first day was going to go, all Blaine could think about was pretending to get better so he could leave. If all the boys here were going to be as freaky as Kurt, this wasn't going to be fun.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you to the amazing feedback. You are all stars :D The next chapter will be up tomorrow :) x **

**Thanks to Shelly XD Love you!**

**Chapter 2 - Kurt**

Kurt doesn't want to be left alone with Blaine. The curly haired boy has dirt under his fingernails and Kurt doesn't think he likes him anyway. But Charlie had left them in his office, his phone had rung and he had mumbled something about having to go before leaving them alone. Kurt knew Blaine wasn't dangerous. Charlie would never leave anyone alone with someone who was dangerous.

"What's your deal then?" Blaine sighs, he's leaning back on the chair, head turned towards the ceiling, he looks relaxed, but Kurt doesn't think he is. How can someone who has just been dumped in an institution be so relaxed? Kurt thinks back to his first day here, even though he knew it was something that he had to do, he needed to get better, he had still screamed and begged his dad not to leave him here. It had taken three hours for Burt to calm him down, and then Kurt had been sedated because he wouldn't stop crying. "I'm talking to you!" Blaine said louder, snapping Kurt from his memory.

"What?" Kurt said, shaking his head.

"I said what's your deal?" Blaine rolled his eyes and turned back to the ceiling.

Kurt frowned and shook his head. "It's none of your business." Kurt mumbled, he didn't speak to any of the boys here. Charlie said he should try, and Kurt knew that was why he had been the one to meet Blaine. His dad had even tried to get him to socialise here, but Kurt just couldn't bring himself to. What would they talk about? Their issues? That was what their therapy sessions were for.

"Uh-huh." Blaine shrugged.

Kurt looked towards the door, he wanted to leave now. He looked up at the clock and sighed. It was almost twelve. "It's outside time now." He mumbled to himself, but Blaine had heard and raised an eyebrow.

"What do you do outside?" Blaine sat up, turning to look at Kurt again.

"There's an outside sports area, or the gardens," Kurt answered.

"You don't look like you do sports." Blaine smirked. "Or is it the fact that you can watch boys run around getting all sweaty?" Blaine breathed.

"N-no!" Kurt shook his head. Blaine had created an image in his head that terrified him.

"Oh i think you like that." Blaine said, now he had found something that got to Kurt he wasn't going to give it up and they both knew it. "I think you like watching them, hoping one of them would notice you, then they'd press you against the wall."

Kurt shook his head, he couldn't listen to this anymore. He stood up and rushed towards the door, tumbling and tripping over his feet as he got there, he could hear Blaine laugh but he just wanted to shut him out. He grabbed the door handle and pulled the door open and rushed out, slamming the door behind him he ran forward knocking hard into Charlie who was walking back to his office.

"Kurt..." Charlie frowned, helping the startled young boy up off the floor.

"Didn't...Secrets aren't...I don't..." Kurt panicked, he couldn't control his thoughts. Blaine's words and his horrible memories were pressing against him, his nails itching hard at his skin as he turned and stared at the office door. He didn't close it properly. Blaine's words were going to get him. They were all going to get him. Pulling out of Charlie's grasp, Kurt moved towards the door and opened it, closed it, opened it, closed it, and opened and closed it once more.

"Kurt. Calm down." Charlie said sternly, Kurt rest his hands at his side and looked down, he took a couple of shaky breaths and squeezed his eyes shut.

_A hard body pushed him against the lockers. Hands gripped his face. Dark eyes glared into his. _

"Kurt!" Charlie said louder, Kurt blinked his eyes opened and looked at Charlie, tears slipping down his face. "What happened?" Charlie asked softly, he gestured for Kurt to follow him to the comfortable looking sofa in the waiting room. Kurt sat down awkwardly, he knew he would have to wash his clothes to make them clean after sitting on the dirty sofa, but he was tired and he was scared.

"Blaine...he said...and i can't stop thinking about..." Kurt shook his head, he didn't want to talk about it. "Therapy isn't till tomorrow." Kurt mumbled. "Talking is for then. It's outside time now. I should be outside in the garden, and then i can go in for lunch."

"What are you going to have for lunch today, Kurt?" Charlie asked, he knew this calmed Kurt down. Talking about routine showed that Kurt had control in his life, and that was important because control was the one thing he had felt like he'd lost in his life.

"Tuna melt sandwich." Kurt nodded. "And an orange juice."

"What about pudding?" Charlie pressed, he could physically see Kurt relaxing now. His hands were no longer clenched on his lap, but resting gently on his knees.

"Maybe a fruit salad." Kurt nodded. "Or a yoghurt."

"That sounds nice." Charlie smiled. "Now, why don't you go and have your walk outside, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"At eleven." Kurt nodded, he stood up and looked towards the door. "He's mean, Charlie."

"I know, but like you he's been through a lot." Charlie said gently. "I'll talk to him."

Kurt just shrugged, he didn't think that talking to Blaine would do anyone a world of good. Kurt said goodbye to Charlie and walked out through the corridors until he got to the garden door. He liked going for walks, he always had since he was younger. When he was sad his mom would take him for walks around the park, they would sit and have ice cream and Kurt would talk to her about what was wrong. When she died, it was his dad who took him for walks. As Kurt got older and as his dad got busier, Kurt went for walks on his own.

The gardens were always quiet, Kurt liked that. He could think and not be scared of people looking at him and judging him. Even in a place like this where everyone had issues and problems, Kurt still felt like everyone judged him. He was gay and crazy, and they all hated him for that. Blaine had picked up on it straight away, and Blaine definitely didn't like him. Kurt sighed, he didn't want Blaine to like him. He just wanted to get better and go home, he was missing home more and more now.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you to the amazing people who have reviewed this. You all make me grin by your amazing words. Please keep them coming. **

**I am sorry for the delay in updates, been a really busy week and I'm afraid to say this week is looking to be the same. But i shall try to post. **

**Thank you to Shelly :) She never stops amazing me. **

**Chapter 2 - Blaine**

Blaine watched Kurt closely. There was something odd about him. And not odd because he freaked out about the mess on the door handle. Odd because he seemed so...innocent. Blaine had seen a lot of rough types at the bars he went to, he had seen a lot of boys be victim to them, and he could tell that Kurt had been a victim. He smirked looking down at the floor, Kurt's innocence was such a turn on for most men, he was young looking, naive, easily corruptible. Blaine didn't want to corrupt Kurt. Blaine wanted to ruin him. Blaine felt pride in watching Kurt rush out of the room, once the door was shut he couldn't help but laugh. Too long had he been the little lost boy for older men to play with, now he had some power. It felt different, he didn't want to get used to it. He liked being wanted. He'd have Kurt want him and then just like what happened with him, he would hurt him.

Blaine's thoughts were shaken when the door opened and slammed three times. Kurt was freaking out. Blaine leaned back against the chair and sighed, he hated it here already. He wanted to leave. He missed his dad, he missed his room, he missed the men that wanted him. He felt useless and alone with no one wanting him here. He felt his phone in his pocket and wondered how hard it would be to hack into it so he could find a chat line or something.

The door opened a few minutes later, Blaine didn't turn his head - he knew it wasn't Kurt, it only opened once - "Where did the freak go?" Blaine hummed.

"If i find you using language like that to talk about your fellow patients here, i will take you down to isolation."

"You'd like that, having me all to yourself?" Blaine purred, spreading his legs. God, how much he wanted Charlie on top of him. He could feel himself getting harder and he pushed his hips up, he wanted Charlie to see too.

"No, you would be down there on your own, no me, no phone." Charlie said and sat behind his desk, to Blaine's dismay his eyes were trained on Blaine's face and nowhere else. "Do you understand?"

"Yes." Blaine muttered. "I understand."

"Good. Now, next time you see Kurt you will apologise. I don't want you to make anyone feel horrible about themselves. Everyone here has some form of vulnerability, you do not pick at things that can hurt people."

"Okay!" Blaine sighed, rolling his eyes. "I'm bored of this conversation now."

"Well I'm bored with your attitude." Charlie said back, catching Blaine off guard, he hadn't expected Charlie to talk to him like that. "Now, I'm going to put you on some medication."

"What kind of medication?" Blaine frowned, he didn't think his problem was something that needed to be medicated.

"It's medication to lower your sex drive." Charlie said, watching Blaine closely.

Blaine frowned, he chewed on his bottom lip and ran a hand through his curly hair. "I don't know."

"It will help you realise that you are more than sex." Charlie pressed softly.

"I'm not though, am I?" Blaine snapped. "It's why I'm here. My dad thinks all i do is go out and have sex."

"Isn't that what you do?" Charlie asked, leaning forward on the desk.

"I don't go out looking for sex. I go out for...to...I go and find people to love me." Blaine sighed. "That's how i know people care."

Charlie nodded slowly, "Okay." He said softly. "I think we should try you on the medication, just for a couple of weeks."

"I just want to go home." Blaine sighed.

"Well we'll try you on the medication, it might help and you might be able to go home." Charlie explained.

"And if it doesn't?" Blaine said, mimicking Charlie's position and leaning forward, their faces were close together. "And if it turns out I'm just a young boy desperate for attention, nothing more than a cheap slut who wants to please any man he can, because that's how i was raised since i was six?"

Charlie pulled back slightly, the raw emotion across Blaine's face was enough to break a frozen heart in two. "Then we will help with how you think of yourself." Charlie said softly. He stood up and headed towards the medicine cabinet in the next room, he took the pills and handed Blaine two. "You'll have them daily, it's lunch time now so you can eat after."

"Are they going to make me sick or...make me grow hair in places hair shouldn't grow?" Blaine said lightly.

Charlie chuckled, he knew he was going to find it hard to keep up with Blaine's mood swings. "They have a few side effects, headaches, nausea, but they work quickly."

Blaine nodded slowly, he stared at the pills resting in his hands and took the glass of water offered and took the pills. "Thank you." Charlie said and Blaine shrugged, he didn't know what Charlie was thanking him for. "I'll walk you to the canteen. I want you to find Kurt and say you're sorry. You two could be friends, i think you both need it."

"I don't do friends." Blaine muttered looking down. Charlie sighed. "But I will apologise."

"Good. Then I'll show you your room."

"My dad said we all have our own rooms." Blaine said standing up.

"That's right, they're not exactly glamerous but they have all you need for a room." Charlie smiled, leading Blaine to the door.

Blaine was silent the whole way to the canteen, Charlie watched him as he took everything in. "There's Kurt." Charlie said, pointing out the young boy who was sitting by himself in the corner.

"He's on his own." Blaine said, he hadn't really expected the institution's canteen to be buzzing with social activity, but everyone else seemed to be in groups, or at least looked happy. Kurt was on his own.

"He always sits on his own." Charlie said softly. "Go and apologise, then he can show you where your room is. it's right next to his."

Blaine sighed and looked at Charlie who smiled knowingly at him. Blaine liked Charlie again at that, he was sly and it remined him of himself. "I'll come and get you tomorrow so we can talk, and your medication will be given to you tomorrow too by one of the nurses." Blaine nodded and watched Charlie walk away. Blaine took a deep breath, apologising wasn't something he was good at, he had never done it before and meant it. He walked forward towards Kurt's table, hoping this went well.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story. You are all amazing :D **

**Thanks to Shelly for being awesome :) **

**I have the next part written already, I'm having a sick day today (I am actually sick lol) so been doing some writing :D**

**Chapter 3 - Blaine **

Blaine sighed as he looked at Kurt. The boy was playing with his knife and fork as he chewed slowly. Blaine wondered if he was counting how many times he chewed before he swallowed. After watching for a few minutes Blaine realised that he was and rolled his eyes. How did chewing a piece of bread so many times matter? He shook his head and pulled out the chair opposite him and sat down, startling the taller boy.

"What...?" Kurt frowned looking up at him.

Rolling his eyes Blaine cut him off. "I'm here to apologise." He sighed getting it over with. His father used to say when he had to do something that he didn't want to, the best way to do it was like pulling off a band aid. Fast and painless. Only it was always fast just never painless. "Charlie says i should."

"So you're apologising because you've been told to and not because you feel you should?" Kurt countered, taking Blaine by surprise.

"No. I think I should apologise because i said a few hurtful things." Blaine sighed. "I just wouldn't normally care."

"But the idea of going to isolation is a lonely and terrifying one?" Kurt smirked.

"How did you..."

"I've been here a while. I know Charlie's tricks." Kurt said, the smirk still on his face. Blaine glared at him, how could he talk to him like that when Blaine was apologising? Maybe he should be the one who gets sent to isolation.

"Have you ever been there? I bet it's real dirty for you." Blaine snapped, wiping the smirk off of Kurt's face.

"Yeah, I have." Kurt mumbled, Blaine hadn't expected that answer and looked down, wishing he could just say he was sorry and walk away but there was something about the paler boy that was pulling him in even more.

"What's it like down there?"

"Dirty. Cold. Lonely." Kurt sighed, pushing his plate away. Blaine sighed, the boy was already thin and it seemed Blaine had just put him off his food.

"Aren't you hungry?" Blaine asked, staring at Kurt's barely touched sandwich. Kurt just shrugged. "So...I'm sorry. We cool?"

"Why would we be cool? You think I'm a freak." Kurt laughed.

"Well we're both in here, maybe we're both freaks." Blaine shrugged. "I was out of line for what I said, okay?"

"Okay." Kurt said looking down.

Blaine nodded, now he had said sorry maybe he could walk away. Maybe he could go to his room and just wait for his dad to pick him up, but he knew his dad wouldn't come and pick him up just because he had apologised to one boy. He had to show him that he was getting better, that he was trying at least. Maybe by making a friend that could help.

"So, what do you do now then?" Blaine asked, his stomach rumbling. Kurt smiled softly and pushed his half eaten sandwich towards Blaine. "Thanks." Blaine grinned and started eating it.

"I normally go and sit in the library and read." Kurt answered, watching as Blaine chewed. Blaine nodded and tried to be as neat as he could with the bread, he didn't want to make any crumbs because he had a feeling that the slightest of messes would make Kurt go crazy.

"Well what else is there to do?" Blaine said, wiping his mouth on a napkin. The idea of reading a book in the library did not sound very fun.

"There's a game room, a television room and a gym, or a quiet room."

"Like a little holiday place isn't it." Blaine said sarcastically.

"It's not supposed to be fun. It's to make you better." Kurt said, and Blaine raised an eyebrow at how defensive he was about this place. Did he actually believe they were helping or was he just brainwashed? Blaine reckoned it was more the second one judging by the way he was staring at the old stains on the table.

"I can see it's helping people be here." Blaine smirked, turning his head and gesturing to a young boy who was talking to the wall.

"Well it tries to help." Kurt sighed, shaking his head. Blaine noticed the look Kurt was giving him and sucked on his lip, maybe going around insulting the other freaks wasn't the best way at making Kurt his friend.

"How long have you been here?" Blaine asked, changing the conversation.

"Couple of months." Kurt shrugged looking down.

"Oh," Blaine nodded, having no idea what to say now. Kurt looked up at him as if he was waiting for him to say something, but then moved his head to the clock and stood up.

"I'm going to read." He said and Blaine found himself standing too, he grabbed the plate and followed Kurt. "What are you doing?"

"I'm coming to read with you." Blaine said, he saw something in Kurt's face light up as if he was shocked that someone wanted to do something with him.

"Why?" Kurt asked quietly. Blaine shrugged and put the food on the side to be cleared away and followed Kurt down to the library. "You don't have to. I've said it's okay, you apologised. Go and do whatever you want to do."

"I want to come and read with you." Blaine said, ignoring the look Kurt was giving him and walking forward towards the library, hoping his dad would see this as a good sign and get him out of here sooner.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing this, you are all amazing. Should write some more this weekend, so more will be up soon. Have a fantastic Easter. **

**To my ChrisColferSexyPicSupplier Shelly :D I love you muchly.**

**Chapter 3 - Kurt **

Kurt didn't know what to make of Blaine. If he was to make bets as to why the curly haired boy was at the institution it would be because he was bipolar and had split personalities. One minute Blaine was nice, the next he was mean and the next he was sarcastic. Following the boy's moods was causing him a headache, one Kurt really didn't want. Kurt didn't want to read with Blaine. He didn't want to read with anyone. Reading was a silent time, a time when Kurt could lose himself in a book and not think about why he was here, or when he was to have his next dose of pills.

"I don't normally read." Blaine said as he followed Kurt into the hallway. Kurt just nodded, if he didn't normally read then he should go and do something else, but saying that would be rude and his father raised him better than that. "But I guess I could give it a go." Kurt just nodded again. When they got to the library Kurt stopped in front of the door. The last time Blaine had seen his ritiual with the door he had freaked out, but Kurt didn't care. He knew if he didn't open and close the door three times bad stuff would happen, and Kurt didn't want bad things to happen. "It's okay." Blaine said from behind him, when had he gotten so close? Kurt didn't like it and pulled closer to the door, glad when Blaine backed away slightly.

Kurt opened the door. Closed. Opened. Closed. Opened. Closed. Opened and walked in. Blaine closed the door behind them and Kurt headed to his normal corner. This was his sanctuary. No one normally came in here, now Blaine was here but Kurt just hoped he would find a book and sit down and shut up.

"Why do you do that to doors?" Blaine asked, sitting down against the wall. Kurt sighed, it looked like he wasn't about to sit down and shut up all.

"Because if doors are open your secrets can leave easier." Kurt mumbled, he folded himself onto a large black sofa and grabbed a book from the shelf, he tried to read at least one book every time he was in there depending on the size. He didn't take books back to his room, he didn't like it.

"Right." Blaine mumbled, grabbing a book. Kurt ignored him, focused on the words, he could feel himself slipping into it when he heard Blaine groan. "Well this is exciting."

"Well I did say you could go somewhere else." Kurt snapped.

"Well I want to sit with you." Blaine snapped back. Kurt just sighed and closed his book, he wouldn't be reading now then would he.

"Why do you want to sit with me?" Kurt asked quietly, no one ever wanted to sit with him.

"Because i don't want to sit with anyone else." Blaine shrugged looking up at him. "You look like you could use the company."

"You feel sorry for me." Kurt sighed.

"No." Blaine shook his head. "I guess i just want company too."

"Why my company?" Kurt asked, holding his knees tightly.

"Because you look less likely to hurt me." Blaine smiled lightly, the little joke making Kurt laugh softly.

"I won't hurt you." Kurt smiled and picked at his book. "But it's reading time now. And I want to read."

"How long do you read for?" Blaine asked.

"Till it's exercise time." Kurt replied. "For an hour or two. Depending on who comes in saying it's time for exercise."

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't like doing it, if it's Charlie doing the rounds he normally doesn't make me do it."

"Ah," Blaine nodded. "I don't want to either."

"Then sit down with a book and look busy. I'm reading now." Kurt nodded and picked his book again and started to read, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Blaine was doing the same.

Kurt closed his book and smiled, he looked up at the clock and nodded when he realised he had spent over two hours in his own little world and had finished his book. He turned his head to Blaine who had been extremely quiet as Kurt read. Blaine was fast asleep curled up on the floor, the book in his hands being used as a pillow. Kurt rolled his eyes and put his book neatly on the shelf and walked over to Blaine slowly. "Blaine." Kurt whispered, and gently shook Blaine's shoulder.

"No..." Blaine murmered in his sleep, his brow creasing together and his body curling up even smaller. "Don't want to. Please." Blaine moved his hands frantically in his sleep, almost pushing Kurt over if he hadn't jumped out of the way in time. "Don't want it! Please don't want it!" Blaine screamed, thrashing around on the floor so hard Kurt was sure he was going to really hurt himself. Kurt sucked his lip and moved to the other side of him, he sat down and gently rubbed his hair.

"Shh Blaine. It's okay. It's Kurt." Kurt whispered, Blaine didn't stop whimpering but his body slowed down. Kurt continued to whisper soothing things to him until finally Blaine blinked his eyes open. "It's okay, you fell asleep."

Blaine blinked up at him and jumped up, he looked at Kurt and glared at him before running out of the room leaving Kurt alone and confused about what had just happened.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Short angsty chapter but i hope you guys like it. More up soon :)**

**Thanks to Shelly for being amazing :)**

**Chapter 4 - Blaine**

_Lips rough against his, nails scraping down his skin making his body shiver towards him. "You know you want me baby, It's okay." His voice so soft, so silky, Blaine felt sick. "Just relax baby." Blaine shook his head, tears falling down his cheeks. _

_"Don't want it." Blaine sobbed, trying to push the rough hands away from him. _

_"No. You do. Daddy isn't here, I'm looking after you." Lips against his neck, Blaine tried to push away from him, but he was stuck. He was being held in place by such strong arms. He was too weak to move. _

_"Please Uncle Dean. I don't..." He sobs, but the hand over his mouth stopped him from calling out for help. _

"You sure we won't get into trouble?" He giggled. Blaine frowned as he tried to remember the boy's name. Blaine wasn't too surprised at how easy the boys in this place were to manipulate. All he had to do was look at one of the boys as he was watching television, give him a knowing look and walk into the bathroom stalls, only a few minutes later to be followed in.

"We won't." Blaine hummed, moving so he was backed into the corner, the boy pushing himself onto him. "Tell me you want me." Blaine whispered as his hands tugged at his zipper.

"Want you." The boy panted, his hands fumbling awkwardly at Blaine's hips, it was clear that he was inexperienced, but Blaine didn't care. The boy was hard and that was all he wanted. "Please Blaine." He whined.

Blaine leaned in and kissed him, mainly to shut him up, but also because he needed to feel something. Anything. Awkwardly, the boy began to grind his hips against his, all Blaine could focus on was the surprisingly impressive length of him rutting against him. Sinking to his knees, Blaine pulled the boys legs against him more, wanting the feeling that he was trapped in the corner to take over. "Tell me to please you."

"Huh?" The boy frowned, gasping when Blaine pulled his trousers down. "Please me." He said shakily. "Do...Do that."

Blaine growled against him and took the hard, leaking cock into his mouth. He sucked it hard and slow, wanting to get this over with. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He wasn't supposed to control the situation, he was supposed to be over powered, he needed to be backed against the wall roughly. He needed to be called a slut, needed to _be _ called a whore, needed to be a whore. How else would he know that he was wanted?

The boy didn't last long. Blaine would have been generous if he said that he lasted more than two minutes. With an embarrassed thank you, the boy ran out of the bathroom, Blaine rolled his eyes when he thought he heard him giggling. Blaine sighed and sat cross legged on the floor, his body folding in on itself.

The nightmares were back. He had let his guard down and the nightmares were back. He was stupid to think that he could relax enough to fall asleep in front of someone. Waking up to the look of horror on Kurt's face, the look of of shock, and shame, and pity. Blaine hated that look. All he wanted to do was wipe the smug look off Kurt's face and show him that he's not weak, he's not pathetic like he thinks he is. Once Kurt had seen him, he had run out of the library and ran straight to someone who he could thought could help, only to find out that he did nothing but make his mouth feel dirty. Sighing, Blaine stood up and washed his face, he rinsed his mouth out, groaning when he could still taste the bitter taste of the stranger he had pleased. He walked out back through the corridors and to the common room, he would find someone who could show him where his room was and then he would hold up there until he had to leave again. Right now he didn't want to see anyone. Especially Kurt.

Blaine lay on his bed and looked around his new room, it was simple; it was horrible. A bed. A set of drawers, a chair, a desk, and that was it. He wondered how anyone could possibly get better when they were forced to stay in a room like this. Blaine pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed his dad's number, sighing when it went straight to voice mail. So much for his dad always being there for him. Hanging up at the tone Blaine threw his phone on the side, he pulled his pillow from behind his head and pulled it over his face, screaming against the itchy fabric wanting it all to end.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm blown away with how amazing you all are :) Thank you so much for your kind words :D **

**To my beautiful beta shelly, I hope you feel better soon :) x **

**Chapter 4 - Kurt **

Open door. Close door. Open door. Close door. Open door. Close door. Kurt rushed over to his bed and sat down, his legs automatically going to his chest as he cradled himself. Blaine sounded so scared. Cocky, self-assured Blaine had sounded so scared, sounded so lost, so young. Annoying, confusing Blaine had looked so hurt, so angry when Kurt had woken him up. Kurt didn't like that look, he had seen it before, it made his hands shake and his heart beat faster. Kurt took a shaky breath and closed his eyes trying to make himself calm down, getting worked up would mean more pills. He'd have to go to Charlie and he would give him an injection and that would make him sleep, but with the sleep came horrible dreams. He didn't want to see the angry faces glaring at him, he didn't want to hear the names being spat at him. He wasn't a slut. He didn't want to hear them calling him it any more.

The door opened and Kurt jumped when he saw the familiar head of curly hair that he was slowly getting used to seeing look at him. "This is my room. You can't be in my room!" Kurt stuttered.

"You're my neighbour." Blaine said, he turned around and Kurt hoped that he was just going to walk out, he still looked angry, still looked like he wanted to hurt Kurt. But Blaine didn't want to walk out, he closed and opened the door three times before walking over to Kurt slowly. "The secrets won't go out now."

"Secrets?" Kurt frowned, holding himself tighter. There was something about the way Blaine was watching him that was making his heart race even more. "What secrets?"

"My secrets." Blaine sat down beside Kurt's bed, and mimicked his pose. They were both holding themselves together, both failing fast.

"I don't know your secrets." Kurt whispered, he didn't want to know Blaine's secrets. He had too many of his own to keep.

"You already know. You heard them." Blaine snapped looking up at Kurt with wide eyes. "You know what I was...You were there. Were you laughing at me?" Blaine stood up now, his legs pacing across the floor. "Did you think it was funny to see me looking so weak?"

"N-No!" Kurt whispered, his body trembling more. Was Blaine going to hurt him? What was he doing? "I swear I wasn't laughing."

"You were!" Blaine screamed. "You were laughing at me, you woke me up to laugh in my face." Blaine was getting louder and getting closer.

Kurt looked around, he was backing himself into the wall, he could feel his chest tightning and he knew he was about to go into full panic mode but as Blaine moved closer, he could feel it getting tighter and tighter.

"What's going on?" Charlie's voice made both Blaine and Kurt freeze.

"N-nothing!" Kurt whispered.

"Blaine, do we need to go to your room?" Charlie said softly, his kind voice snapping Blaine out of his anger. "Shall we go?" Blaine nodded weakly and before Kurt knew what was happening, Blaine was rushing out of his room. "Are you okay, Kurt?" Charlie whispered moving and sitting down tentively beside him.

"I didn't do anything!" Kurt said quickly.

"I didn't ask that, I asked if you were okay." Charlie smiled.

"I'm...Blaine...I'm okay." Kurt whispered looking up at him. "I want to be on my own."

"Okay." Charlie nodded. "I'm going to talk to Blaine and then I am coming to check back on you, alright?"

"Alright." Kurt sighed, curling up on his bed and squeezing his eyes shut.

Charlie watched as Kurt forced himself into a light sleep, sighing he closed the door and walked to the next room to talk to Blaine.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I hope that this is a slightly longer update for you all, I am trying to make it longer but I've been quite stressed lately so I just want to have something for you all, instead of you posting once every other week. **

**Thanks to Shelly for being so amazing not only as a beta, but as a friend. **

**Chapter 5 - Blaine**

Blaine squeezed his eyes shut tightly, his whole body was throbbing with rage. He was weak. They all know how weak he is. Kurt knows how weak he is. Blaine jumped when the door opened, was it Kurt coming back to laugh at him? He groaned when he saw Charlie walking in. Charlie who had seen what he had done to Kurt, had heard what he had been screaming, had seen how scared Kurt was of him.

"I'm going to sit down next to you." Charlie said before doing just that. Blaine didn't look at him, he didn't want to see the anger in his eyes. Kurt clearly meant something to Charlie, Blaine could see that from the way Kurt trusted him. Blaine didn't say anything, he didn't trust his mouth to speak. His head was aching, this was all too new, too scary for him. "I know you're scared."

"You don't know." Blaine snapped, his eyes burning into Charlie's face. "You don't know anything about me!"

"I know you're angry about what your uncle did to you." Charlie's voice remained soft, gentle, he wasn't accusing Blaine of anything,but Blaine hated what he was saying.

"No..." Blaine shook his head, he didn't want to listen to him.

"I know you want to know why it happened to you. Why he chose you to do those horrible things."

"Because I deserved it." Blaine mumbled, his nails digging hard into his knees.

"No, you didn't Blaine." Charlie said softly, hating that that was what the younger boy believed. "You didn't deserve anything that has happened to you. That's what staying here is going to show you."

"I want to go home." Blaine whispered.

"I know you do, but right now that's not an option." Charlie waited for Blaine to say something, but when he didn't he continued to speak. "I know what you did with Dean in the bathroom." Blaine looked down, he could feel his cheeks burning with shame. Did everyone know what a slut he was? What would Kurt think? "I bet that didn't make you feel how you wanted did it?"

"No, it didn't." Blaine whispered, keeping his knees to his chest.

"It's because you don't need to do anything like that." Charlie said gently, "You don't need sex to make yourself feel better, you need friends, and someone to talk to."

"And the pills you're giving me?" Blaine sighed.

"The pills are there to lower your sex drive. They will start to kick in soon, they will make you feel..."

"Less horny?" Blaine smirked.

"In a way. Yes." Charlie rolled his eyes watching him. "What were you saying to Kurt?"

"Is he okay?" Blaine asked quietly. The idea that he had scared or hurt Kurt made his heart ache.

"He's a little shaken, but he's sleeping now. He'll be okay." Charlie nodded.

"I was angry at him." Blaine mumbled. "I don't even know why."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Charlie said gently.

"I..." Blaine chewed his lip. Talking to Charlie now would mean giving in to the fact that he was in an institution. He was talking to a therapist about his issues. He might as well diagnose himself as damaged and crazy.

"It's okay to talk." Charlie pressed, as if he could see what was going on in Blaine's mind. "I'm here to listen, Blaine."

"I had a nightmare." Blaine looked down, his voice was quivering, he didn't want to speak, didn't want to open it up but he couldn't stop his mouth from moving. "I was with Kurt in the library and I fell asleep. I saw him...I was screaming for him to stop, I could feel it all over again. I was scared, and no one was helping me." Blaine whispered, reliving the memories that haunted him. "Kurt woke me up." Blaine mumbled. "Kurt woke me up and he saw me...he heard me. He looked at me like i was weak." Blaine held his knees tightly, he looked down knowing he must look weak now.

"I don't think he thought you were weak." Charlie whispered once he was sure Blaine had finished speaking. "I know for a fact that he doesn't think you're weak, not at all."

"No one can know that for sure. Not unless you're in his head." Blaine whispered. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying." Charlie said softly, he wanted to reach out and wrap an arm around Blaine and show him that it was going to be okay, but he knew Blaine wouldn't be able to process the friendly touch.

"I'm sorry I was angry at him." Blaine said honestly.

"I know. I believe you." Charlie smiled. "You're bound to feel a little up and down, especially now. This is all new for you, you're scared, and overwhelmed, but I promise you it's a natural feeling and it will get better."

"You promise?" Blaine whispered, looking younger than his years.

"Promise." Charlie smiled. "Now, I think your phone is buzzing."

Blaine turned his head to where Charlie was pointing and grabbed his phone quickly, his heart feeling lighter when he saw his father's name and picture on the screen. "Dad." Blaine breathed as he answered.

"Hey, I'm sorry I missed your call. I was driving. How are you settling in?" Blaine hated how far away his dad sounded, but his dad was there talking to him, and that was all that mattered.

"It's okay, I'm okay." Blaine said, he didn't want his dad to feel guilty about him being here, he knew he must alredy feel like that.

"I know when you're lying." His dad said, and Blaine felt like crying all over again.

"Sorry, I'm trying to be okay."

"It's okay if you're not Blaine. You're there so they can make you okay."

"I guess." Blaine looked at Charlie who was watching him with a kind smile.

Blaine spoke to his dad for a couple more minutes, they didn't really have much to say but both felt comfort at just speaking to each other. When Blaine ended the call he pocketed his phone, he didn't want to risk missing any calls from his dad. They meant too much for him.

"Do you feel better now?" Charlie asked, watching him closely.

"Not completely, but I'm glad i spoke to you." Blaine smiled shyly.

"I'm glad you spoke to me too." Charlie nodded. "Now, it's late. You can keep your light on as much as you want, there's books and pens and paper for you to use, or you can play the games on your phone but all common room areas are now closed." Blaine nodded as Charlie spoke, he didn't feel like going outside his room anyway. "Breakfast starts at seven tomorrow, and finishes at nine."

"Okay." Blaine nodded.

"There's a call button here if you need me okay? Then someone will come and see you if I'm not available okay?"

"Okay." Blaine repeated, this was getting to be a bit much for him.

"You'll have your medications tomorrow at breakfast okay." Blaine just nodded, he didn't want to have any medication, but he knew it would help and right now all he wanted to do was get better and leave.

Charlie patted Blaine's shoulder and wished him goodnight, Blaine just watched him leave and sat down on his bed, curling up on the sheets he closed his eyes and hoped sleep would take him soon.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this. You are all amazing. I'm hoping for a productive day tomorrow so you might get a nice amount posted soon :)**

**As always thanks to my Shelly for being amazing. **

Chapter 6 - Kurt

It's a new day. That was what Kurt thought as he woke up. His mouth was dry and felt rough against his tongue as he tried to move it. He looked down at his clothes and groaned when he saw he hadn't changed from his day clothes. "Dirty." He mumbled to himself, his hands immediately going to rub against his skin to try and claw the dirt from it. He stood up and rushed towards the bathroom, opening and closing the door frantically three times. It was a new day but it was already tainted. He showered for fifteen minutes, hot water burning away the dirt from his skin as he forced his mind to forget why he had fallen asleep like that in the first place.

Blaine.

Blaine made him dirty. Blaine made him sleep like this. Blaine was angry at him. Blaine had scared him. Blaine was his friend. Blaine wasn't his friend.

Kurt smacked his hands against the walls of the shower and cursed as his hands ached.

Blaine was bad.

After his shower Kurt pulled on his once tight white jeans, now loose fitting and comfortable, white was clean, white was pure - something Kurt wished so desperately he could be. Next he pulled on a Hummel, Tire and Lube tee with a wrap around cardigan. He used to think if he looked good then he would feel good, he didn't care so much about how he looked now, he just wanted to feel good.

Kurt did his hair and pulled the sheets off of his bed, they were dirty and they needed to be cleaned. He took the sheets down to the laundry room and left them outside. He would never go inside, Charlie understood and allowed him to leave his clothes there. There was enough dirt in the small laundry room to make Kurt want to take ten more showers. Kurt walked towards the dining room. It was breakfast time, he was hungry. He would start his day again and it would be good.

Kurt took some cereal and some fruit and walked to the back of the dining hall and sat down, he kept his head down not looking at the groups of boys that were around him, all talking and laughing in their friendship circles. Kurt missed his friends. Kurt didn't have any friends any more. Blaine was his friend. Blaine was tainted. Blaine wasn't his friend any more.

Kurt ate his breakfast slowly, he didn't want to make a mess and he didn't want to go through the crowded dining hall to go to the library. He hated how people always looked at him. They always judged him. Knew his secrets.

"Can I sit with you?" Kurt jumped when he saw Blaine standing awkwardly over him. He was a short boy but he was still able to make it look as though he was looming over Kurt. Kurt sucked his lip, he wanted to say no, but he knew that would be rude. And his father had raised him not to be rude. Blaine couldn't hurt him in here could he? There were too many people around.

"Okay," Kurt whispered, turning his attention to his orange peel. Oranges were clean. They had a protective skin that shelided the fruit from anything that could be damage it. Kurt wished he had a protective skin like that.

"I'm so sorry about yesterday." Blaine said quietly, Kurt thought he sounded embarrassed but he couldn't be sure, he didn't want to be sure. "I was angry, but I wasn't angry at you. I was angry at myself for being weak and i was scared of what you would think about me if you knew."

"If i knew what?" Kurt frowned. Kurt didn't want to believe what he was saying, he didn't want to look at Blaine and see how much pain was hidden in his eyes, he didn't want to believe just how hurt Blaine was at the thought of him scaring Kurt.

"My secrets." Blaine whispered, his eyes looking up to meet Kurt slowly. "I have...I'm here just like you are because we all have our reasons why we're a little messed up. I don't want to tell you what mine is, but I'm trying to get better, and I'm taking the medication now. I am."

"Medication is good." Kurt nodded, sucking his lip. He hated his own medication, it made his heart feel empty and his thoughts fuzzy, but it stopped him from thinking too much about things.

"I didn't think so, but i do now." Blaine nodded. "You're my only friend, Kurt."

"I am?" Kurt frowned. Blaine wanted to be his friend. Blaine was tainted. Blaine couldn't be his friend. Kurt wanted Blaine to be his friend.

"Yes, and I'm so sorry for my crazy spell yesterday." Kurt let his lips tug up into a smile at how Blaine had called it a crazy spell.

"You confuse me." Kurt finally said. "I shouldn't want to be your friend. You made me sleep in my dirty clothes, and I felt dirty."

"I'm sorry." Blaine frowned, and Kurt knew he didn't really understand what he was saying, but maybe that was okay. "I won't make you do that again."

"Okay." Kurt nodded slowly. "If...No more crazy spells. I guess it would be nice to have a friend."

"It would." Blaine smiled.

Kurt nodded and watched as the dining room emptied as they all finished their breakfast. "I'm going to read now." Kurt declared, standing up, he looked at Blaine who's face had fallen. "Would you like to join me?" Kurt asked, feeling deep inside that it was the right thing to do, the bright smile Blaine flashed him told him that it was.

Blaine had made him go to sleep in his dirty clothes. Blaine was angry. Blaine wasn't angry any more. Blaine made him feel dirty. Blaine was his friend.

Maybe some dirt was good.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I'm so touched by everyone who has reviewed this story, you are all amazing and I had the biggest grin on my face when I woke up and read through the reviews. You all make me want to write :D

Thanks to Shelly for being the best beta in the world :D

Chapter 6 - Blaine

When Blaine woke up he was sure his head was about to explode. It wasn't possible for his head to feel so much pain, for his eyes to burn so much. Had falling asleep in such a mood done this to him? He sighed, knowing it was what he deserved. Blaine wasn't expecting any visitors so early in the day but when the door opened he didn't even jump, despite just waking up Blaine felt exhausted.

"It's only me." Charlie said softly, walking towards him. Charlie was holding a bottle of water and a plastic cup of pills, he wore a charming smile but looked as if he had been working all night.

"You look like crap." Blaine mumbled, taking it out on him wouldn't help but he couldn't help his lips from moving.

"So do you." Charlie teased back and sat beside him. "I thought you might want some painkillers this morning."

"How did you know?" Blaine frowned, he took the bottle of water from Charlie and the pills, knowing there weren't just painkillers in the mix.

"It can be a side effect of taking medication, and when I go to sleep in a bad mood I normally wake up with a headache." Charlie smiled. "I put your pills in there too, they might make things a little groggy but you will get used to them."

Blaine nodded and drank the rest of his water. "I need to apologise to Kurt again, don't I?"

"I think you two should try and make friends, yes." Charlie smiled. "He's a nice boy, just like you. You can help each other." Charlie patted his knee softly before walking out of the room.

Blaine watched him leave before throwing himself back on his bed, he had no idea how he was going to apologise to Kurt. He knew he deserved a good explanation he just didn't know how he was going to give him one. After waiting ten minutes he decided to have a shower knowing he should at least smell good as he grovelled for forgiveness.

Blaine felt like the apology went well. It could have been better, Kurt was hesitant and Blaine knew this was his last chance. If he messed up again then Kurt wouldn't give him another chance at being his friend. There was something about Kurt that Blaine couldn't put his finger on, even now as he was looking up at him; Kurt was so lost in the book he was reading Blaine wondered if he had fallen into it, if he could see himself amongst the characters, walking the forests or swimming in enchanted lakes. Kurt was magic. Kurt made Blaine believe in himself, and Blaine didn't know how that was possible. Kurt hadn't given him any long conversations about being a better person, but he did give Blaine the chance to try to be a better person.

"I can't read if you're staring at me." Kurt whispered, closing his book and startling Blaine out of his thoughts.

"Sorry," Blaine blushed and looked down.

"Did you want something...?" Kurt frowned. Blaine thought about what looks Kurt was used to on the outside, did people believe he was amazing and beautiful? Or did he get judged for being who he was?

"No, I was just watching you." Blaine said honestly. He didn't want to lie to Kurt, even about something as simple like that.

"Oh." Kurt whispered looking down. Blaine frowned, wishing he knew what he was thinking. He hated how troubled Kurt looked right now.

"What is it?" Blaine whispered.

"I don't want...Please don't look at me like that, okay?" Kurt said, his voice so low that Blaine had only just heard him.

"Okay, I won't. I'm sorry." Blaine said, though he was unsure what he was apologising for, but he didn't want to blow his chance with Kurt already.

Kurt nodded and looked away from Blaine and went back to his book, but Blaine could tell he wasn't as into it as he was before, every now and again he would turn and look over at Blaine as if to check that he wasn't staring at him. Blaine made sure he wasn't, he wasn't risking their friendship, not now.

Blaine didn't pick up a book, he was going to but he didn't think he could focus on the words if he tried. Reading and school work were never his strong point. "Do you not like to read?" Kurt asked, making Blaine jump.

"I don't read a lot at home," Blaine shrugged. "I like sitting here with you though, it's peaceful."

"If you were at home, what would you be doing?" Kurt asked, putting the book neatly down on the shelf.

"I..." Blaine frowned, he hadn't expected the question and he wondered if he was at home would he be letting someone use him, just the thought sent a chill up and down his spine, his skin was itching to be touched by someone. "I'd probably be out."

"With your friends?" Kurt pressed, he looked so curious and interested in what Blaine had to say. It had been a long time since anyone was interested in him and not just when he pulled his trousers down.

"I don't really have friends." Blaine shrugged, just like Kurt had felt uneasy when Blaine was watching him, it was Blaine's turn to feel uncomfortable, only Kurt didn't pick up on it and continued to speak.

"Neither do i." Kurt said softly. "What would you be out doing?"

Blaine chewed his lip, debating whether or not to answer. Kurt knew he was fucked up, they were all here because they had issues. Kurt wouldn't start judging him now would he? "Probably at a bar." Blaine breathed.

"I've never been to a bar." Kurt smiled softly. "What are they like?"

Blaine looked at Kurt and smiled sweetly, he liked how curious Kurt was, he could see how much he wanted to know, it was as though Blaine was his own private story to read and he wanted to know everything. "They're loud. I go to them because I like to meet people."

"But you said you don't have friends." Kurt frowned.

"I don't normally see the people i meet more than once." Blaine answered honestly, he bowed his head feeling the shame wash over him, he didn't want to look up and see the disgust in Kurt's eyes.

"Oh, okay." Kurt said gently, the soft nature of his voice made Blaine look up at him. Blaine was shocked to see that Kurt wasn't judging him with his eyes, he was just smiling at him softly. "It's outside time now, do you want to walk with me?"

"I'd like that." Blaine nodded, he stood up with a smile. It was like a weight had been lifted from his chest with his small admission.


	12. Chapter 12

A/n: all your response is really making me write like crazy, I don't think I have ever updated a story as fast or as much as this one, and it's all because of you guys. Thank you :D

Thanks to Shelly, couldn't do any of this without you. x

Chapter 7 - Kurt

"Did you ever play the question game at school when you moved into a new class?" Blaine's question made Kurt turn and look at him. They were outside, sitting under an oak tree. Blaine had insisted they sit there because it was the nicest looking spot, and Kurt didn't argue, he just sat beside him and for the most part enjoyed the comforting silence that passed between them.

"The question game?" Kurt frowned, he didn't remember playing any games at school. None of his school memories were good. "What is it?" Kurt asked quickly, trying to push the memories away.

"It's when we ask each other questions to get to know each other, but we answer our own questions too, if we're comfortable answering them, then the questions should be okay," Kurt looked up at Blaine who was watching him curiously. "I thought maybe we could play it, get to know each other a little. What do you think?"

"I think...Okay." Kurt nodded. He wanted to get to know Blaine, it felt nice that someone wanted to get to know him too. "You start."

"Okay." Blaine grinned, his feet tapping excitedly on the ground. Kurt rolled his eyes watching him, keeping up with Blaine's mood swings was becoming hard work; one minute he was okay, the next he was angry, then calm, and now he was like an excited puppy. A very cute excited puppy. "What's your favourite day of the week?" The question was so stupid and easy to answer that it made Kurt laugh out loud. "My favourite day of the week is Friday, because it means it's the weekend."

"That's what you want to know about me?" Kurt giggled quietly, he couldn't remember the last time he giggled, it was weird and made his heart feel light but he liked it.

"I do, I think it's the most important thing you could know about a person." Blaine grinned up at him. Kurt rolled his eyes and answered Blaine's important question.

"I guess it's a Saturday." Kurt smiled. "I used to spend time with my dad in his shop on a Saturday morning. I liked that."

Blaine nodded humming in response. "Your turn."

"What's your favourite colour?" Kurt asked, nervous that he was asking the wrong question. Blaine just grinned and told him it was purple. "I like purple, mine's blue."

"Nice." Blaine smiled.

The two asked simple questions back and forth to each other for half an hour, Kurt felt so at ease talking to him that he didn't even mind that Blaine had moved closer to him, or that Blaine's leg was pressed against his as they sat together. "This is nice." Kurt whispered once Blaine had asked his last question, Kurt informing him that his favourite animal was a llama which had caused Blaine to laugh so loudly, one of the staff had asked if he was okay.

"This is nice." Blaine agreed, closing his eyes. Kurt took that moment to watch him. Blaine looked so relaxed and calm, so at peace with whatever demons he had. "When my dad told me I was coming here, I thought it was going to be full of crazy people."

"I'm sure it is." Kurt chuckled. "I felt the same though."

"How long are you here for?" Blaine asked, opening his eyes and looking at Kurt intently.

"Until I'm better. You?" Kurt whispered.

"My dad said I'm here until I learn to love myself." Blaine sighed.

"I'm sure that won't take very long." Kurt said softly.

"What will make you better?" Blaine whispered.

"Are you going to answer that too?" Kurt asked, his hands fiddling with the material of his shirt.

"If you want me to." Blaine breathed.

"I do." Kurt nodded.

"To make me better I need to believe that people want to know me for more than my body." Blaine said after a few minutes. "It will make me better to have someone who cares about me, someone who knows my dirty secrets but loves me anyway." Blaine looked down.

Kurt stared at him, Blaine had given him such a heartfelt answer, he didn't think he would. He leaned over and took Blaine's hand, smiling when Blaine linked his fingers with him.

"To make me better I need...I need to learn that what happened to me wasn't my fault." Kurt whispered, his hands trembling thinking about what happened to put him here. Thinking about why he was in here, thinking about what made him so dirty.

"I wish I could help you, Kurt." Blaine whispered, he was holding his hands tighter.

"I wish I could help you too." Kurt said quietly, he pulled his hand away from him and rest them back on his lap. "I'm getting cold, I think I want to go to my room."

"Oh. Okay." Blaine frowned. "Do you want some company?"

Kurt knew Blaine wanted him to say yes, but he couldn't, Kurt needed to be on his own, he needed to breathe and not think. "I'll come and find you when I do," Kurt said softly, he squeezed Blaine's hand to say that he wasn't mad or upset with him before walking to his room.

He sat on his bed and curled his body under itself, he knew that it would take a lot for him to be better. It was his fault that Dave hurt him. If he hadn't acted the way he acted at school. If he hadn't rubbed it in his face. If he didn't wear such tight clothes. If he hadn't been him then Dave wouldn't have raped him.

Kurt would always believe that. Kurt was never going to be okay.


	13. Chapter 13

Thank you guys for all your kind words, I wonder what you will all think about this chapter with the little flash back...

Thanks to Shelly for being amazing.

Chapter 7 - Blaine

Blaine looked down, he had messed up. He should get a tee shirt made with that on it. All he felt like he was doing was messing up with Kurt. The one person in the world he really didn't want to mess up with was the one he kept on doing it with. Frustrated, Blaine stood up shuffling his feet towards the door to get back inside. He didn't want to sit outside on his own, he felt lonely and isolated here without Kurt by his side. He walked through to the common room and sat down, pulling his phone out he plugged his headphones in and looked through all of the songs his dad had put on for him. He missed his dad so much. He put on Maroon 5, and tapped his foot along to the music as he flicked through his photos. His dad had put a few of the two of them together, the rest were of his friends from school. He missed them so much. Sebastian was his best friend, he was the one who had shown him he could use sex as a tool to make himself feel better.

_"Just a little kiss Blaine, lighten you up." Sebastian slurred as he leaned forward. They were in Blaine's dorm room at Dalton, it was summer, music was playing loudly and Sebastian had managed to sneak some beer into the campus. _

_"I..." Blaine shook his head, he didn't want to kiss him. But he felt so crappy. His dad had sent him to this school to make him feel better, but he felt trapped here. _

_"You look so tense baby, just let me help." Sebastian purred, he was moving closer, crawling towards him. He was after his prey and Blaine was defenseless against him. Sebastian had his legs either side of Blaine's now, one hand reached forward and gently stroked Blaine's cheek, his fingers were cool and soft against Blaine's cheek, and as Sebastian moved his thumb against Blaine's bottom lip, the curly haired boy's eyes closed. That's when Sebastian leaned in and pressed his lips against his. It started off as a slow kiss, Sebastian was gentle and he was right, it did make Blaine feel better. The kiss soon turned heated. The hand on his cheek moved down to his neck as Sebastian was pulling him closer, his body was grinding down against his and Blaine was enjoying it. Blaine was enjoying the way Sebastian was staring at him as though he was the most prized posession at the fair,and he was about to claim him for himself. _

"Earth to Blaine." Blaine snapped out of his daydream and blinked up at Charlie who was watching him with a concerned expression.

"Sorry. What did you say?" Blaine took the headphones from his ears and looked up at him slowly.

"I said are you okay?" Charlie pulled out a chair opposite him and sat beside him.

"I'm fine." He shrugged, turning his music off and fiddling with his phone to stop himself from looking at Charlie.

"Are you sure?" Charlie pressed.

"I'm sure." Blaine sighed. "I'm just tired."

"Okay." Charlie nodded, not making any sign to move. Blaine looked up at him finally and he could tell that Charlie knew something was wrong. "When you're ready to talk, you know that I'm here."

"I know. It's nothing. I just feel like I keep trying to get close to Kurt, every time I feel like I get somewhere, he pulls away five feet back." Blaine looked down frustrated and placed his hands on his lap to stop himself from fiddling.

"Well, the fact that you're getting close enough for him to pull back is a good thing Blaine." Charlie said softly. "Forming relationships in a place like this takes time, but you're doing good. And i know that it means a lot to Kurt."

"Hope so." Blaine sighed.

"What were you thinking about when you were looking at your phone?"

"I was thinking about Sebastian." Blaine sighed. "He was my first...Other than my...Other than...i..." Blaine squeezed his hands together to stop himself from shaking. "He was the first person I trusted to sleep with me."

"Is it a good memory or a bad memory?" Charlie asked patiently.

"I don't know." Blaine answered quietly. "Sebastian was my best friend, he made me feel good, he made me feel important. He was popular, him talking to me made me feel special. I meant something because I was friends with him. He...He wasn't sleeping with just me though. He took what I thought was a special part of our relationship as a game, i was just another knotch on his bedposts, and when I would spend nights wishing he was there making me feel good about myself. So when he was out screwing anyone else he could find, i would find someone else too."

"That's when you think your need for sex started?" Charlie asked, he was so glad that Blaine was opening up to him.

"I think so." Blaine sighed. "Every time Sebastian saw me with someone else, he would give me a high five. He would congratulate me on my conquest, it became a competition. I felt proud every time he congratulated me."

"Okay." Charlie nodded. "We'll continue this conversation later, right now it looks like someone else wants to talk to you." Blaine frowned and turned to where Charlie was pointing and sucked his lip nervously when he saw Kurt walk forward slowly. 


	14. Chapter 14

A little more insight into Kurt's life. I'm going to start to doing little flashes into both of theirs so that you can see just what's going on in their beautiful heads.

Thanks to Shelly for being the best beta in the world.

Chapter 8 - Kurt

Guilt was a feeling Kurt was used to. He felt guilty every time someone at school would phone his father and tell him he had a fag for a son. He felt guilty every time his dad would talk about football to him, and all he received was a blank expression. He felt guilty when he checked his facebook and saw messages from Tina, Rachel and Mercedes that he couldn't bring himself to reply to. But now, he felt guilty because of Blaine. Blaine was just being nice, all he was doing was trying to be a friend to him and Kurt had pushed him away. Kurt hated that he had pushed him away, Kurt had longed for a friend ever since he had gotten here, and now that he had one he wasn't going to send him away.

"Hey." Blaine said softly. Kurt wondered why he looked nervous. He didn't want him to be nervous around him.

"Hey." Kurt breathed. "I'm sorry." He sat down beside him and watched as Charlie left.

"Kurt, you don't..."

"I do. I was pushing you away. And It's...I didn't mean to. I'm just not...I've been here alone for so long that having someone want to talk to me is weird Blaine. I can tell that you were popular, you have this air of confidence around you. Before I came here, I was nothing. Now I'm still nothing, only I'm damaged nothing." Kurt rambled. He couldn't stop speaking, he was nervous and scared. He had to make Blaine see that he still wanted to be around him. "And today talking to you, i didn't feel like I was stuck here, I felt like i was talking to a friend."

"That's because you were." Blaine said softly. "Now, shall we forget this? And go back to that."

"I'd like that." Kurt whispered. He smiled when he saw Blaine's phone.

"Do you want to call your dad?" Blaine asked softly.

"No, I...He's coming to see me tomorrow." Kurt smiled, "I wouldn't know what to say."

"What about someone else?" Blaine suggested. "I'm sure you had some friends?"

"I don't...I wouldn't know what to say to them either."

"How about 'hey'?" Bline grinned. Kurt shook his head and leaned back against the chair more. "Did you have any friends at school?"

"A couple." Kurt sucked on his lip. "I had Mercedes, I guess if I were to have a best friend she would have been it."

"What's she like?"

"Fabulous." Kurt chuckled. "She's going to be a star one day, her voice is amazing."

"She sounds great." Blaine smiled. "Anyone else?"

"Rachel, we kinda hated each other but she was there when it counted." Kurt shrugged. "And we got closer when she started to date my step brother."

"You have a brother?" Blaine grinned. "I want to know all about him."

"You do?" Kurt frowned, why did Blaine want to talk about Finn? Maybe he wanted to be friends with him instead.

"I do, I want to know all about you." Kurt looked up at him confused, why would he want to get to know him?

"I'm nothing special, Blaine." Kurt said quietly, looking down. When Blaine realised that he would soon not want to be his friend. Kurt didn't want that to happen. Kurt needed Blaine. He knew that now.

"I think you are, Kurt. And I'm going to show you that. Make you realise." Kurt didn't pull away when Blaine placed his hand on top of his. Normally he would have. Touch scared him. Kurt had pulled away every time his father used to reach out to hug him, but now, with Blaine's hand on top of his Kurt didn't feel scared, he felt relaxed. And the way that Blaine was gently running his thumb over his knuckles was making him feel more relaxed then he ever had. "So, tell me about your step brother."

"His name's Finn and he's a jock." Kurt smiled, his eyes not leaving their joined hands. "He's as clumsy as anything, and he can't dance, he's not the brightest crayon in the box, but he's...he's Finn and he's my brother and I think I miss him."

"Have you spoken to him recently?" Blaine asked softly.

"No. Not since I came here, he visited once with my dad, but...But i couldn't look at him..."

"Why?" Blaine frowned.

Kurt sucked on his lip, could he really tell Blaine why he couldn't stand to look at Finn? Why his brother was a reminder of what happened to him? Finn was another reason Kurt felt guilty. Just as Kurt was about to talk to Blaine, to tell him everything there was a loud bang from the corner of the room. One of the boys had started to throw chess pieces around. In seconds the boy was being calmed down by the staff in the room but that only seemed to make it worse.

"Hey Blaine, can we go back to my room and I can use your phone?" Kurt said, watching the scene turn out in here was making him think of Finn even more. He wanted to talk to him now.

"Of course. Come on." Blaine said softly. Kurt nodded and walked to his room. Blaine walked over to Kurt's bed and waited for Kurt to sit beside him before he handed him his phone and Kurt stared at it, wondering what he would say to Finn who he hadn't spoken to in six months.


	15. Chapter 15

Thank you for all of your kind words. You are all amazing and I love you lots :)

I hope you like this chapter.

more up soon.

Thanks to Shelly for being my amazing beta, x

Chapter 8 - Blaine

Blaine leaned back against Kurt's bed so that his back was resting against the cool wall. He stared as Kurt thumbled with the keys, he was physically shaking at the thought of talking to his brother. Blaine thought of Cooper, and how he hadn't spoken to him in years and what he would tell him if he was to see him again. He knew it probably wouldn't be anything nice.

_A ten year old Blaine ran to his brother, his arms out, his eyes crying. "No Cooper." Blaine sobbed watching as his brother picked up his bag. "You promised me you wouldn't ever leave me." _

_"I'm going to college." Cooper sighed. "I've put it off for you Blaine, I've been here for you, but now I need to go." _

_"Are you ever coming back?" Blaine sobbed sitting down on the steps._

_"I'll come back. I promise." Cooper pressed a soft kiss to Blaine's hair before walking out. _

_Blaine watched his brother go, unaware that it would be the last time in years that he would see him. _

"Blaine." Kurt whispered, he sounded nervous and was watching Blaine closely.

"What is it?" Blaine asked, shaking away the memory of Cooper and how he hated that he missed him.

"I think my call went to your dad." Kurt said chewing his lip confused as he handed Blaine the phone. Blaine frowned and took the phone.

"Hello?" Blaine frowned when his dad answered.

"I told you Blaine, you can only use the phone to contact me. I've had the phone company connect any calls you try to make to me."

"I wasn't trying to call..." Blaine went to explain but was cut off.

"I know you were trying to call someone Blaine, please don't lie to me. I thought this place was making you better."

"It is!" Blaine snapped, sighing when he saw Kurt jump. "My friend wanted to use the phone to call his brother."

"Oh." Blaine didn't say anything just looked at the floor. "I'm sorry." His father sighed down the end of the phone.

"Yeah." Blaine didn't know what else to say. Blaine had said to his dad that this place was helping, but it was clear his dad didn't believe him. He knew it would take time but it hurt hearing his father's doubt.

"I'll connect the call."

"Thanks." Blaine sighed, the phone cut out and Blaine knew his father was regretting what he said. Maybe he would call him back later, but maybe he wouldn't. He handed the phone to Kurt who was watching him with a worried look on his face.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked quietly, Blaine nodded, he didn't have the words to tell Kurt how his father had made him feel.

"It's ringing." Blaine said nudging the phone closer to Kurt. "Bring the phone back to my room, I'm next door. I'll leave you to it."

"Thanks." Kurt whispered, watching Blaine go.

Blaine walked to his bedroom and sat on the uncomfortable bed, he closed his eyes and felt fresh tears slip down his cheek.

_"Blaine, wanna dance?" Cooper grinned, bouncing over to his younger brother who was sitting on the sofa, a book in his hand. Their dad had put the stereo on and Grease was playing. Blaine loved dancing to Grease. _

_"No." Blaine mumbled looking down. _

_"Please." Cooper pouted, nudging the book out of Blaine's hand. Blaine flinched as Cooper touched him, he recoiled backwards and wrapped his arms around his legs. "I'm sorry." Cooper breathed moving closer to him, but making sure not to touch him. _

_"Not your fault." Blaine mumbled, blinking teary brown eyes up at him. _

_"I feel like it is." Cooper sighed and slouched beside him. "I'm your big brother, I should have been able to protect you." _

_"You didn't know." Blaine whispered. _

_"I should have done." Cooper sighed, he wiped his eyes quickly. He didn't want to cry, he had to be strong for his baby brother, especially after how much he had let him down. _

_Blaine didn't know what to say, he just moved closer to Cooper and hesitantly rest his head against his shoulder, he didn't pull away when Cooper wrapped an arm around him. Holding him tight. "Don't ever leave me, Coop." Blaine breathed._

_"I won't baby brother." Cooper insisted, he pressed a kiss to his forehead and rubbed his back soothingly. _

Blaine curled up into a tight ball, his body shaking as he let sobs out. He hated Cooper. He hated his father. He hated this place. He hated his life. He sat up trying to control his breathing, it was coming out in short rapid breaths, making his chest and lungs hurt. He didn't know what to do. He reached around for the panic button that Charlie had shown him and waited desperately for someone to help.

Only two minutes had passed and Charlie was in his room, sitting in front of him, hands resting on his knees as he tried to calm Blaine down. "Blaine, copy my breaths." Charlie said, taking a long steady breath. Blaine tried but ended up breathing rapidly again. It took a few minutes for Charlie to calm him down.

"Want to tell me what you were thinking about before youe anxiety attack?" Charlie asked, handing Blaine some water and watching him drink it quickly.

"Kurt was telling me about his brother." Charlie frowned, not sure how this was leading to Blaine's anxiety attack, but he let him talk anyway. "It made me think about Cooper."

"Your brother?" Charlie asked.

"I haven't seen him in almost seven years." Blaine mumbled. "He promised me he would never leave me, and he did."

"Where is he?" Charlie asked.

"He went to California, he's a drama teacher. He never came back, he calls sometimes, but I don't have anything to tell him."

"Are you sure you don't?"

"What do you mean?" Blaine frowned looking at Charlie confused.

"Are you sure you don't have anything that you would like to tell him?" Charlie said gently. "It's been a long time since you spoke to him, maybe you should write him a letter. Tell him exactly how you feel, reach out to him. He left knowing how much pain and trouble you were in, he's most likely scared that you would reject him if he were to come back."

"I..."

Blaine frowned, he couldn't believe how right Charlie was all the time about what he was feeling. He looked towards the door and imagined Cooper walking through it. The first thing he would tell him would be to get out.

"It might sound like a stupid idea, but writing a letter really works. Reach out to him."

Blaine thought about Kurt and how he was strong enough to reach out to Finn. Maybe he could do that with Cooper. Maybe he could get his family back together.

"I'll think about it." Blaine mumbled, he wanted to talk to Kurt about it. Kurt would know what to do.

"Okay. Do you want something to help you get to sleep?" Charlie asked.

Blaine shook his head. "I want to wait to speak to Kurt. I feel better now. Thank you."

"Okay." Charlie nodded. "I'm going to put you on half hour checks, it's just procedure okay."

"Kay." Blaine whispered, he felt a little relieved that someone would come in and check on him. He didn't want to voice is thoughts about hating his life, but he had a feeling that Charlie knew. Charlie nodded before walking out of the room. Blaine threw himself back on the bed and drank some more water, he would wait until Kurt came back and then maybe he would write Cooper a letter.


	16. Chapter 16

Two updates in one night, :D

I'd love to hear your thoughts on these two chapters, a little brotherly love never hurt anyone right...

thanks to Shelly for inspiring me constantly

Chapter 9 - Kurt

Kurt listened to the ringing on the phone, it was as though the dial tone was taunting him. Every ring made his heart beat faster. Finn might not want to talk to him. Finn had probably forgotten he had a brother.

"Hello?" Finn's voice cut through his thoughts and Kurt jumped.

"H-hey," Kurt whispered.

"Kurt?" Kurt relaxed slightly as Finn recognised his voice. "Kurt are you okay? Kurt..."

"I'm okay." Kurt breathed, he heard a sigh of relief and wondered what Finn was doing. "I've just missed you,"

"I've missed you too." Finn spoke to someone in the background, and Kurt sighed when he realised that he was in the choir room, he could hear Mercedes shouting into the phone that she missed him, and heard Will say that that were thinking of him, "Sorry about that."

"It's okay." Kurt said, smiling lightly. "I miss them."

"You should come and visit. Or we could."

"It's only three at a time for visitors, and I...I can't come back."

"I know." Finn mumbled. Kurt didn't know what else to say, maybe this was a bad idea. "It's been a while."

"I know." Kurt chewed his lip. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Finn assured him. "I get it."

"You do?" Kurt frowned.

"Well I didn't at first." Finn paused and Kurt could tell he was thinking over his words. "I didn't understand why you didn't want to talk to me. I was confused, it was Mr Schue who explained how you might be feeling."

"What did he say?" Kurt had expected him to say Rachel had been the one to talk to him.

"He said that I was a reminder. That, you couldn't talk to me because I reminded you of what happened. Was...Was he right?"

"Yeah." Kurt mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm the one who's sorry Kurt. I didn't believe how bad the bullying was, I should have stood up for you more."

"You did enough." Kurt mumbled, nothing was enough though. "He still would have..."

"No, I should have been able to do something. I'm...I'm so sorry."

"I forgive you." Kurt breathed, and he knew it was something not only that Finn had to hear, but something that he needed to say.

"So, how is it there?"

"It's okay. I like it. It's helping me." Kurt wrapped his arms around his legs and smiled at the phone. "I've made a friend,"

"That's great. What's his name?"

"Blaine. I'm using his phone." Kurt smiled. "I didn't like him at first, but I think that he's nice now."

"As long as he's nice to you, that's okay." Finn replied. "I'd like to meet him."

"You would?" Kurt frowned.

"Any friend of yours Kurt, is a friend of mine."

"Okay." Kurt whispered. He had forgotten how easy it was to talk to Finn. How relaxed he made him feel. "How's dad?"

"You haven't called lately."

"No." Kurt sighed. "I will later."

"You should. He misses you. He's coming to see you on Saturday though, and tomorrow is Friday so you haven't got that long to wait."

"I know." Kurt smiled, he couldn't wait to see his dad. Speaking to him on the phone always made him feel so far away.

"I'll make sure he gets you those fashion magazines you like." Finn laughed.

"Maybe you could bring me some too." Kurt said before he realised what he was saying.

"You want me to visit?" Finn asked, Kurt knew that he sounded excited, it would hurt his brother if he was to say no now.

"Yes. If you want to." Kurt said quickly.

"I do." Kurt smiled, and he wasn't lying, talking to Finn now he realised that he missed him so much. "I've missed you Finn."

"Missed you too. We all have Kurt. The choir room feels so empty without you."

"It does?" Kurt frowned, he was never that expressive in the room. He didn't think he had made such an impact.

"Mercedes is always looking to where you sat, she's not herself without you. Rachel hasn't got anyone else to have those Diva offs with. Even Puck asks about you all the time."

"He does?" Kurt frowned, he could not imagine Puck asking about him.

"He does. They all do. You're family Kurt, we're all a family and it sucks that you're not there."

"I know." Kurt whispered. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, do you understand that?"

"I just...If i hadn't yelled back at him, If I hadn't worn such tight clothes, If i wasn't..."

"Stop talking now." Finn said sharply. "You did nothing wrong. He was sick Kurt. He was scared in the closet, and he saw you and thought you could take his pain away. He's a monster Kurt. Not you. You haven't done anything."

"Okay." Kurt whispered shakily. Finn's words made his head and his heart hurt.

"Okay." Finn sighed.

"I should go,"

"I'll still come and see you on Saturday?" Finn asked unsure.

"Course." Kurt nodded despite the fact that he knew Finn couldn't see. "See you soon." Kurt ended the call quickly and placed it on the bed carefully. He wiped his eyes surprised that he was crying, he washed his face in the bathroom and walked back to his bed and grabbed the phone. He walked around the corner to Blaine's room and frowned when he saw him sitting on the bed, his eyes red from crying and a water bottle clutched in his hands. He rushed over to him, and didn't even hesitate before he pulled Blaine in his arms.

Blaine wouldn't hurt him. Blaine was upset and he needed him.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: I am so amazed by the feedback for this story, you are all amazing.

You may need tissues for this chapter...

Warnings: Mentions of rape, bullying, suicide,

Thanks to Shelly for being the most wonderful person in the world.

Chapter 9 - Blaine

Blaine didn't know when he had fallen asleep, or how long he had slept for. All he knew was that he hadn't felt this safe in a long time. At first when he realised he wasn't alone in his bed he thought of the many times he had woken up in a stranger's bed, all of the awkward conversations in the morning as they tried to remember each others names, or when he had snuck out before the stranger he had bedded woke up. But now, with Kurt safely beside him, nothing but their fingers touching, Blaine couldn't remember feeling this safe.

They hadn't spoken when Kurt had come into his room. Kurt had just held him. Blaine knew it was a lot for him to do, he could tell from the way that he trembled after a few minutes and pulled away slightly, but then he had pressed his hand against his, and Blaine knew that he was there for him.

Blaine blinked his eyes up at Kurt who was watching him, a soft look on his face. "Charlie came to check on you, when he saw you were sleeping he said I could stay in here."

"How long was i asleep?" Blaine frowned.

"Almost two hours." Kurt said gently, Blaine loved his voice, it was so soft and relaxing, Blaine felt completely at ease listening to Kurt speak.

"Oh." Blaine mumbled looking down. "I'm sorry, not much of a guest huh?"

"It's okay, you looked tired."

Blaine nodded, he looked down at Kurt's hand and sucked his lip. He wondered what Kurt's reaction to him reaching out and holding his hand would be. All he wanted to do was squeeze his hand, to show him that he was thankful that he was there, but something told him that just being this close to Blaine in his bed was beginning to be too much for Kurt.

"How did talking to Finn go?" Blaine asked.

"It was okay," Kurt shrugged. Blaine frowned, he had been hoping for a little more than that. "Want to play that question game again?"

Blaine was surprised at Kurt's sudden change in topic but nodded his head, he figured that Kurt had stuff he wanted to get off his chest and if this would help him, then he would play along. "We both ask questions we will answer ourselves?" Blaine checked, he smiled when Kurt nodded his head. "Okay, do you want me to start?" Kurt nodded again and Blaine worried his lip between his teeth as he tried to think of something to ask him.

"What happened between you and Finn?" Blaine asked after a few minutes.

Kurt sighed and looked down and Blaine wonderd if he had said the wrong thing, but Kurt started to answer. "At school I was getting bullied," Kurt took a shaky breath and Blaine didn't hesitate this time to take his hand and squeeze it. He was glad when Kurt didn't pull away, instead he just squeezed his hand back. "It was a jock, he wasn't exactly Finn's friend, but they were on the same team and I guess that meant more to Finn than Brothers." Blaine watched him, he was scared of where this was going. He knew Kurt had been hurt, knew there was something that was tearing him apart from the inside out, and he knew Blaine was going to find out what it was now. "He didn't help me, he just told me that it was hazing, that it was high school and I should get over it. I...I tried. I thought it would end sooner or later, but then...I couldn't take it any more. I screamed back. He called me a fag, and I lost it. I screamed and I chased after him. I...Why did I chase after him?" Kurt was trembling now, Blaine pulled him into his arms and rubbed his back, he didn't care that Kurt tensed in his arms, he just kept him close and listened, even though he knew it was going to break his heart. "I was in the locker room, just screaming at him. I don't remember what I said, don't remember what he said. But there was no one there. I was so stupid. I...He kissed me. I still taste his mouth on mine. Still smell his stale breath. Still see his face. There was so much hatred in his eyes. He...It hurt so bad. I screamed and begged him to stop but he..." Blaine wanted to stop Kurt talking, wanted to hold onto him tighter and make sure nothing ever hurt him again. But he couldn't. Kurt had to tell him. Kurt had to get this out, unaware that he was bringing back bad memories for Blaine.

"That was the first time he...He just left me when it was finished. I don't know how long I stayed there." Blaine watched as Kurt blinked up at him, he hated how lost, how sad his eyes looked. "It happened again and again, he kept telling me I wanted it. I was begging for it. I didn't know who to tell. I...My dad found out... He nearly killed him."

"Good." Blaine muttered. Kurt sighed and looked down. "How did he find out?"

"I wrote a letter. I...I was going to...He came home early." Kurt wiped his eyes quickly. Blaine watched him, his heart breaking at what Kurt had admitted. Blaine nodded and Kurt stopped talking, they just stared at each other silently.

After a few moments Blaine took a shaky breath and watched him. "Thank you for telling me." Blaine whispered.

"I've only told Charlie." Kurt said, his voice breaking. "I...I don't know why, but I...I needed to tell you."

Blaine nodded, he understood completely what Kurt was saying, he felt as though he needed to tell Kurt what had happened to him. He knew once they did they would be able to heal each other, but he couldn't find the words.

"I'll tell you Kurt, one day, soon I hope. But...But I'm not ready yet." Blaine whispered.

"I know." Kurt nodded. "I'll be here to listen."

"Thank you." Blaine whispered, he felt bad for not telling Kurt his story, but he knew it was okay. "Just know that when people say 'i know what you're feeling' and we know they really don't. I do." That seemed to be enough for now and Kurt understood exactly what he was trying to say. Kurt didn't say anything, he just held him close and whispered something that Blaine couldn't believe he said.

"Can I sleep here tonight?" Kurt asked nervously. Blaine nodded his head shyly and wrapped the blanket around them both, knowing that something had changed between them now. Kurt trusted Blaine, and Blaine was terrified of breaking that trust, but he knew he would try his hardest not to.


	18. Chapter 18

Sooo i wrote this chapter after coming back from the hospital after pulling a ligament in my knee at work. I've had gas and air and pain killers and life is really funny at the moment so I'm quite surprised that a decent chapter actually came out of me lol

Thanks to Shelly for betaing this so quickly :)

Chapter 10 - Kurt

Falling asleep beside Blaine was easy. At first, laying beside him whilst Blaine was sleeping was scary. Blaine might wake up and be mad that Kurt was in his bed, he could be think that Kurt was taking advantage of him. He could wake up scared and hurt him. But Kurt didn't care. There was a part of Blaine that he knew wasn't capable of hurting anyone, and that was the part that he trusted.

Telling Blaine had been easy too. Kurt couldn't describe the bond he felt with Blaine, all he knew was that it was there and that he couldn't survive without him. Not now. He needed Blaine, and he knew that Blaine needed him too.

When Kurt woke up he heard soft singing coming from the desk, he turned on his side and watched as Blaine sang, he wasn't facing him but Kurt could just imagine how perfect he looked as he sung. Kurt sat up slowly, he didn't want to disturb Blaine but he was beginning to get a little uncomfortable. Once Blaine realised he was awake, he stopped smiling and turned around with a shy grin on his face.

"Did I wake you?" Blaine asked, his voice soft and sweet.

"No," Kurt smiled back. "Thank you for letting me sleep here."

"It's okay." Blaine smiled. "I woke up a little while ago, I didn't want to scare you if you woke up beside me."

Kurt smiled and looked down. Blaine had thought about his feelings. The obnoxious boy he thought he had first met was now long gone. "You wouldn't have scared me. I trust you Blaine."

"I trust you too." Blaine replied, a blush hinting at his cheeks.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked, noticing that Blaine had a pen in his hands.

"I'm writing a letter." Blaine said, Kurt thought he could hear something in his voice, a nervousness.

"To who?" Kurt asked gently, he sat on the corner of the desk and smiled softly at Blaine who returned the smile.

"My brother, Cooper." Blaine sighed. "I haven't spoken to him in a few years."

"I'll bet he'll be excited about getting the letter then." Kurt smiled.

Blaine shrugged and looked down. "I probably won't send it to him." Blaine sighed, running a hand through his hair. Kurt watched as his finger nails tugged through his messy curls.

"Why not?" Kurt frowned.

"Because all I can think of saying is I hate you," Blaine sighed, he rest his head against the desk and Kurt watched him. He didn't realise what he was doing until he heard a gentle purr coming from Blaine; his fingers were slowly threading through his thick curls. "He left me when I needed him most." Blaine mumbled, he moved his head a little and moved it to Kurt's lap. Kurt didn't push him away, if Blaine was comfortable like this and was opening up then he wasn't going to push him off. "I was scared, and I needed him. And he..." Kurt felt the tears against his trousers and wished he could do something to help him. "My dad wasn't around much, he didn't know how much pain i was in, he...Cooper knew. Cooper promised me he would never leave and then...then he left."

Kurt didn't know what to say, he wondered if this was how Blaine felt yesterday when Kurt had told him everything. Did Blaine feel as useless as he did now? Kurt hoped not. He didn't like this feeling and he didn't want Blaine to have felt like this.

"I was so scared Kurt. Cooper was my hero and he left me." Blaine was sobbing now. Kurt didn't know what had Blaine so scared, he knew something had happened in his past, something like what had happened to him, Blaine's words from yesterday were swimming around in his head. 'I know what it feels like.' Kurt hated whoever had hurt Blaine. "Cooper was...he knew when I was hurting, he held me and sung to me."

"He sounds nice." Kurt says softly, rubbing his back softly.

"He was. He was my best friend. But...then he went to college."

"College doesn't mean he left you," Kurt said softly, but he knew it was the wrong thing to say. Blaine looked up at him, his eyes brown and angry.

"It's why he left and it's why he's never come back." Blaine snapped.

Kurt flinched backwards, and he knew Blaine regretted it.

"I'm so sorry." Blaine whispered. Kurt nodded slowly, he knew Blaine didn't mean it. "Kurt I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Kurt said quietly, he patted his lap gesturing for Blaine to settle back down. Blaine looked at him a little hesitant before moving his head on his lap, Blaine blinked up at him and Kurt continued to run his fingers through his hair. "Write the letter, or call him. Tell him how you feel. Tell him you hate him, but tell him you miss him too."

"I do miss him." Blaine sniffled.

"Tell him. Make the first step, Blaine. You're amazing, I'm sure he misses you too."

"You really think I'm amazing?" Blaine blinked up at him. Kurt was reminded of a toddler, eyes wide and innocent as he stared questioningly up at Kurt.

"I do Blaine. You are amazing." Kurt nodded, his fingers slowly wiping away Blaine's tears, he was glad that no more fell.

"Thanks, Kurt." Blaine breathed quietly. Kurt nodded slowly not knowing what else to say, so instead of saying anything he continued to run his fingers through Blaine's hair, knowing his actions were speaking louder than words ever could.


	19. Chapter 19

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. You are all amazing :D

Thanks to Shelly for being amazing :)

Chapter 10 - Blaine

To say that sitting across from his dad was awkward and uncomfortable would be an understatement. Facing his dad after their mini fight the other night made Blaine's stomach twist. His dad had been a jerk to him, practically accusing him of trying to find someone to please on the phone. He had been shocked to learn that he was doing something nice for someone else.

"So." His dad started lamely and Blaine just rolled his eyes. He didn't want to talk to his dad. What did he have to say? "It's quiet around the house without you."

"Why? Can't you hear any bed posts hitting the wall?" Blaine snapped back, he hadn't realised that he had been so loud until he saw heads turn his way. All the boys that had visitors were sitting in the community style room. Kurt had been one of the boys to turn and look at him and Blaine instantly met his eyes. Kurt was giving him a disapproving look, his eyebrows creased and his eyes boring into his. Kurt's dad and brother were with him and they looked so happy, so united, they were a family. That's all that Blaine wanted. "Sorry."

"I deserved that." His dad said, completely understanding. "I miss seeing you around."

"Miss seeing you too." Blaine admitted.

"About our phone call..."

"It's fine." Blaine nodded. "I would have probably jumped to that conclusion as well."

"It's not fine. I truly am sorry. I was just...I want you to get better so much Blaine, and i was believing that you were getting better. But nothing good ever happens for us Blaine. I thought you getting better was too good to be true, and I'm so sorry."

Blaine squeezed his dad's hand, holding it tightly. "It's okay." He whispered, he could feel his eyes burning with unshed tears that he refused to cry. Looking at his father's shiny eyes he could tell his dad was trying hard not to cry too.

"So, you've made a friend?" His dad asked, he turned his head and looked over at Kurt who kept on glancing over at them, when he saw that Blaine's dad was looking at him, he smiled shyly and turned back to his dad.

"I have. His name's Kurt. And he's...I nearly told him what happened." Blaine whispered. He still needed to tell him. Not only did he owe it to him as Kurt told him of his past, but he wanted to. He wanted to experience that trust and that kindness. "He's the first person that's told me that I'm amazing, without me having to take my clothes off." Blaine whispered quietly, looking down not wanting his father to see the blush that was spreading across his cheek and neck.

"He's right." His dad smiled. "What do you two get up to here then?"

"Well." Blaine smiled. "He likes to read, so he spends a lot of time in the library. I sit beside him."

"Do you read?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes I just stare." Blaine shrugged. "I know you wish i was better at school, maybe when I get out I can redo the last year of school."

"You want to do that?" His dad asked shocked.

"I do." Blaine nodded.

"Well I can arrange it with Charlie that I get you some of the texts sent to you?"

"Okay." Blaine breathed. "I'd like that. Thanks dad."

His dad nodded in return, a smile on his face. "Looks like we're going to have some company."

"Oh yeah." Blaine nodded turning to Kurt who was walking over with his brother and dad. "We wanted you guys to meet. So we said we would spend some time...Do you mind?"

"Course not. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine, Blaine. Especially one that's helped you so much already."

Blaine grinned and moved over on the sofa and Kurt sat beside him. "Hello." Blaine smiled at Kurt, his eyes shining as Kurt's knee pressed against him. It was the little touches that meant so much to him.

"Hey," Kurt whispered nervously.

"I'm Blaine." Blaine stood up and held his hand out to Burt who shook it, and then to Finn who watched him curiously before shaking his hand. Blaine could tell that Finn was sizing him over, trying to decide if he would hurt Kurt or not.

"Nice to meet you. I've heard good things about you." Burt said, which seemed to relax Finn slightly.

"Thanks for letting Kurt call me on your phone." Finn said some what awkwardly to Blaine as he sat beside Kurt on the floor.

"It was my pleasure." Blaine nodded sitting back down.

Blaine watched as his dad and Kurt's dad started to speak about the centre, they seemed to be hitting it off and Blaine grinned at Kurt, glad that they were getting along. "So," Blaine smiled turning to Finn, he knew it was important for Kurt that he and Finn got along so he would try his best. "Kurt says that you play football?"

"Yeah." Finn rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I do. And basketball. Do you play?"

"Not really." Blaine shook his head. "But I like the game. Me and my dad would play ball on a Sunday before the game." Blaine looked over at his dad who had heard and smiled back at him, silently promising him that when he was out of here they would do that again. It was something that had brought them closer, and that they both loved.

"That's cool. Kurt hates sports." Finn smiled. Blaine chuckled and looked over at Kurt who just shrugged adorably.

"Well hate is a strong word." Kurt argued making both Finn and Blaine laugh lightly.

"It's not that bad." Blaine grinned. "I'll teach you about sports." He nodded. Kurt rolled his eyes but agreed, and Blaine knew he had only agreed to make him happy.

The two families spent another hour talking aimlessly amongst themselves. It had been nice and they were all sad when it was time for them to go. "They got along great," Blaine grinned walking back to the common area with Kurt.

"They did." Kurt smiled back. "You were good with Finn."

"I was?" Blaine frowned, not really understanding what Kurt meant.

"Yeah, you're good with people."

"I've had a lot of practice." Blaine whispered, remembering all those nights he had spent in bars chatting up older guys, giving them what they needed. Telling them what they wanted to hear. Blaine glanced over at Kurt who was watching him curiously. They sat down on the sofa, turning to face each other Blaine took a shaky breath. "You know...After what happened to you...You..." Blaine chewed his lip hard, he couldn't get the words out, but he had to at least try. "You pulled away from other people."

"Yeah?" Kurt frowned.

"I...I used sex as a way to feel wanted, needed." Blaine looked down, wondering what Kurt was thinking about him now. He was shocked when he felt Kurt's hand on his.

"You don't need sex for that now." Kurt whispered quietly.

"I don't?" Blaine breathed.

"No." Kurt promised with a squeeze of his hand, and Blaine believed him.


	20. Chapter 20

Hope you all enjoy this chapter :)

More up soon i hope :D Thanks to Shelly for being as spectacular as always.

Chapter 11 - Blaine

"How are you feeling?" Charlie asked.

"Fine." Blaine smiled. He hated talking about his feelings with Charlie. He didn't feel comfortable talking about the ins and outs of what was going through his head. Even with Kurt he still couldn't tell him fully. He wanted to, he really did. But there was something holding him back.

"Have you felt any sexual needs since you've been on the medications?" Blaine chewed his lip trying to think of the best way to answer. "It's okay, remember whatever you tell me will be in the strictest of confidences."

"Okay." Blaine whispered. He was here to get help, maybe he should tell the truth. "I have."

"And have you acted on those?" Charlie didn't sound as though he was judging him, Blaine knew that he wasn't. But he still couldn't help but feel dirty admitting to it.

"No, only once since I've been here." Blaine sighed.

"You told me about that time didn't you, you said that it didn't work for you."

"It didn't. After I had a mini fight with my dad on the phone...I went to my bedroom and I felt as though I wasn't needed, I felt like no one believed in me." Blaine picked at the threads of his jeans and chewed his lip, not looking at Charlie as he spoke. "I wanted so desperately to leave, to find someone, anyone to make me feel needed. I let my dad get to me, and I just..."

"You needed to fill the void that the fight had caused, and sex is your way of feeling better."

"Yeah." Blaine mumbled.

"Only you didn't go and find someone. You resisted the urge."

"It was hard, my skin was itching, my body hurt." Blaine mumbled.

"It's an addiction Blaine. I don't know if you realise that. It's the same as a drug addict really. A junkie may use drugs for many reasons, but when they don't get it they go through withdrawal. That's what I think you are going through." Blaine didn't say anything, he just wondered what his dad might think if he knew he was being compared to a dirty junkie on the street. "It's been nearly four days since you've had any sexual contact."

"Feels longer." Blaine mumbled.

"I think you are doing very well." Charlie praised him.

"You do?" Blaine frowned, he didn't think he was doing well at all.

"Tell me, when do you feel good about yourself?" Charlie asked, watching him closely.

"What do you mean?" Blaine frowned.

"When do you feel as though it's okay to be yourself?" Charlie explained.

Blaine looked down again. Did he ever feel like that? Did he ever feel as though he could be himself? He looked up and his eyes met Charlie's when he figured out his answer. "When I'm with Kurt. He makes me feel as though I can be myself."

"You two have a very close bond." Charlie smiled.

"I guess." Blaine smiled weakly.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Charlie said, he could tell there was more underneath what Blaine was saying.

Blaine sighed, despite the fact that he hated talking about his thoughts and feelings it didn't appear to stop him from telling Charlie every little thing. "I'm scared that I'm going to hurt him. I'm no good for him."

"What do you mean?" Charlie frowned.

"You said it yourself. I'm nothing but a junkie. What if i hurt him?" Blaine snapped. "What if someone pisses me off? And I'm left feeling worthless and pathetic like I am and I hurt him!"

"I don't believe that would ever happen." Charlie said softly.

"Well you don't know me!" Blaine screamed, he stood up now, anger pulsing through his body. Speaking about his feelings never did him any good. He was a mess. He was going to hurt Kurt he knew it.

"I need you to calm down." Charlie's voice remained soft, it's gentle tone doing nothing but making Blaine feel worse. Deep down he knew that Charlie was just trying to help him, yet that didn't stop him from hating him that very moment.

"I need you to shut up!" He snapped in return.

Blaine felt as though there was something inside of him taking over. Some range that he couldn't control. Blaine paced around the small office, his hands going to his hair and tugging. "I just want to be normal."

"You are normal." Charlie assured him, he stood up and headed slowly towards him. Blaine stopped and turned to face him.

"Normal? Me? Do you think craving sex because daddy didn't notice me is normal!" Blaine screamed, his hands reaching out and pushing Charlie backwards.

"I'm going to have to take you to isolation. Just to calm you down." Charlie said, his voice still saying softly.

"No. I don't want to! I want to go to Kurt!" Blaine yelled, his hands flying around his head.

"Blaine. Calm down." Charlie said, this time his voice firmer.

"You're keeping me from Kurt. You know that I'm going to hurt you. That's why you're going to take me down there."

"No." Charlie sighed. He knew that this was coming, Blaine had adjusted too well into the centre, all his fears and anger was left simmering inside of him and now it was boiling over. Charlie pressed the emergency call button on his desk and straight away two workers were in the room taking Blaine's arms. "I am not keeping you from Kurt, Blaine. I'm taking you to isolation so that you can calm down. You can join Kurt in a few hours, okay?"

"No." Blaine screamed, he was lashing out even more.

Charlie watched him, his heart hurting at the sight. he knew that Blaine was a good boy, he wouldn't hurt anyone, but he was too angry to control now, and though he hated to do it, he knew he needed to give him something to calm down. He reached into his cabinet and grabbed a syringe. "This will make you sleep, calm you down for a bit, okay?"

"No. Please." Blaine sobbed, his arms still hitting out as best as they could being held by the two workers. "I don't want it!"

"It will just make you sleep." Charlie said softly, he took the safety cap off and pressed it into Blaine's arm. "You'll wake up and you can see Kurt soon."

"I want Kurt." Blaine whispered before his world went black.

Charlie sighed, he hated how defeated Blaine looked slumped against the two workers holding him. He told them to take him to isolation, he was sure once he woke up he would be in a calmer state and go back upstairs. Charlie sat down at his desk and stared at Blaine's file. He knew he didn't have the sex addiction wasn't because his dad wasn't for him, he knew his reasons went deeper and Blaine needed to admit them to himself before he could ever start getting better.


	21. Chapter 21

I'm sorry about the short chapter. I had a little writers block on this chapter, but I hope it's gone away now.

Thanks to Shelly for assuring me this chapter was okay XD

Chapter 11 - Kurt

Kurt taps his foot impatiently against the floor as he watches the clock. It's three P.M half an hour after Blaine had gone in for his session with Charlie. Sessions last half an hour. Blaine should be coming into the room now so they can go outside together. That's what they had planned to do. Blaine had been nervous about going to see Charlie, he kept on mumbling that he didn't speak to people very well and he was scared. Kurt hated seeing Blaine scared, all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around him and protect him. Something that Kurt had never wanted to do before. Ever since it happened Kurt hated touching anyone. But he had touched Blaine a lot recently. Hugged him. Snuggled him. They even slept beside each other. Kurt didn't think he'd be able to do that for a long time, or even if he would ever be able to feel so comfortable touching someone again. But he was glad he was so comfortable around Blaine. He couldn't picture sitting beside Blaine and not touching him.

Just as Kurt was losing himself in his thoughts, the door opened and his eyes quickly scanned the doorway to make sure it was Blaine coming in. It was weird how much he had missed him since he left thirty three minutes ago. It wasn't Blaine walking towards him though, it was Charlie.

"Where's Blaine?" Kurt said at once. His mind racing thinking that something happened. Blaine was supposed to be the one walking into the common area now, not Charlie.

"Can we talk?" Charlie said softly. For the first time Kurt hated how soft and calm Charlie sounded. All he wanted to do was find out where Blaine was and make sure that he's okay.

"No. You need to tell me where Blaine is." Kurt snapped.

Charlie frowned, stopping in his tracks. He hadn't heard Kurt shout or snap since he had come here. A part of Charlie was worried that he might have to send Kurt down to isolation as well, the other was glad that Kurt was showing this emotion.

"Tell me where he is." Kurt whispered, realising that he had snapped at him. Kurt wasn't the kind of person to snap and to get angry, but he was scared and worried about Blaine. Knowing how nervous Blaine had been only made it worse.

"He's okay, he's in isolation for a few hours." Charlie said, his tone not changing.

"Why? What did he do?" Kurt frowned, he didn't understand why Blaine would be in isolation. Blaine was a nice boy, he was sweet and funny and he just wanted to get better.

"He got a little upset, and a little angry, so he's just down there to calm down. He'll be up soon."

"You're not keeping him there?" Kurt mumbled.

"No. I'd like to talk to you though." Charlie said, he gestured for Kurt to head to his room and Kurt did so slowly.

Now he knew what Blaine had been nervous about, his own stomach was turning anxiously wondering what Charlie wanted to talk to him about.

"Am i in trouble?" Kurt asked quietly, he had a feeling that he was. He kind of felt like a little boy sent to the principal's office at school.

"No." Charlie smiled. Kurt nodded, he was relieved that he wasn't in trouble but it hadn't taken the nerves away. "I just wanted to talk to you about your relationship with Blaine."

"My relationship?" Kurt frowned. "We're friends."

"I can see that. I'm glad that you've trusted Blaine enough to call him a friend."

"Blaine wouldn't hurt me." Kurt nodded looking at Charlie with full confidence. "I know that he wouldn't."

"I know that too." Charlie smiled, believing in his words completely.

"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. Blaine is the first person here that you've spoken to, and I'm glad that you've made a friend."

"I know, I'm just as surprised as you are." Kurt confessed. "At first I didn't like Blaine. He seemed so arrogant and a bit of an ass." Kurt blushed at his words. "But then I got to know him, and he's sweet. He makes me feel normal."

"That's because you are." Charlie smiled. "You both are. You both...complete each other being here."

"I hope so." Kurt smiled, fiddling with his fingers nervously. "Can I go and see him?"

"You know the rules. It's called Isolation for a reason." Charlie smiled. Kurt sighed and looked down, all he wanted was to see Blaine and to make sure that he was okay. At seeing the disappointment across Kurt's face, Charlie sighed. "How about when he's ready to come out we go and get him?"

"Okay." Kurt nodded slowly. "How long do you think that will be?"

"A few hours." Charlie said softly. "What are you going to do in the meantime?"

"Probably just sit down. Outside isn't fun without Blaine." Kurt sighed. Nothing was fun without Blaine.

"Why don't you read?" Charlie suggested, he was a little worried about how dependant Kurt was becoming on Blaine.

"Not in the mood." Kurt shrugged. "I might just sit and wait."

"Okay." Charlie said, knowing he would need to work on how the two of them dealt with their problems and their friendship, maybe he would try and separate them and show them that they can be friends and not be together all the time. "I'll come and get you in a few hours."

"Okay." Kurt nodded and curled up on the bed, he really didn't know what to do without Blaine, a feeling that was new and scary for him.


	22. Chapter 22

Thank you all for being patient with me. Honestly, I had a little mini block on this story, but it's gone now and I'll go back to my frequent updates :D

Thanks to Shelly for being a wonderful beta XD

Chapter 12 - Blaine

Blaine doesn't know where he is when he wakes up. Blaine thinks his head might just explode. Panic rushes through his body as he opens his eyes. He's not in his room at the centre. He's not in his room at his house. Is he in a stranger's bedroom? No, it's too dark. Too small. He stands up and walks forward, there's only about ten feet for him to move either way. He's in isolation. He remembers what happened with Charlie and he slides to the floor.

He had been so rude to Charlie and for what? Charlie was just trying to help him. Kurt trusted Charlie so Blaine should too. He brought his knees to his chest and rocked himself. He was an idiot. And now he would never get to see Kurt again.

"Kurt." Blaine mumbled as he rest his head between his knees. He felt sick. His stomach was twisting and turning and his head was dizzy. They had given him something to calm him down. He remembers the sudden stinging feeling in his arm and then he remembers nothing. Blackness.

"How are you feeling?" The words make him jump and he looks up to see Charlie standing at the door.

"I'm so sorry." Blaine sobbed. He wasn't sure just when he had started to cry, but he was crying now and he couldn't stop. He was sobbing so hard he was sure he was about to pass out.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, it's okay." Charlie smiled. "Now, are you ready to go back upstairs?"

"I want to see Kurt." Blaine said straight away. "I don't like being away from him."

"I know." Charlie sighed. "He's sleeping right now."

"Oh." Blaine looked down disappointed.

"He was missing you though." Charlie smiled, knowing that would make Blaine stop crying.

"I missed him too." Blaine whispered, he wiped his eyes and stood up slowly, every muscle in his body was aching now. "You gave me something."

"I did. To calm you down. You were getting angry, and you needed to calm down. I'm truly sorry."

"S'kay." Blaine frowned, he didn't really know why Charlie was apologizing, but he knew he should forgive him.

"I saved you some dinner, are you hungry?"

"No." Blaine shook his head. The thought of eating made his stomach turn more. "I feel sick."

"Okay, well lets get you to your room and you can go to sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."

"Okay." Blaine sighed.

Charlie led Blaine back up to his room and Blaine peeked through the door to Kurt's room and sighed when he saw him curled up in a ball asleep. "Can I sleep in Kurt's room?" Blaine asked, though he already knew the answer. Charlie shook his head and held open Blaine's door. Sighing Blaine made his way into his own room and sat down on the bed. "When do you think i'll be able to go home?"

"You're making good progress." Charlie said softly.

"How long?" Blaine frowned, he needed a straight answer.

"I'd say a few months, two maybe?"

"That's a long time." Blaine whispered, he curled around a pillow and blinked up at Charlie. "What about Kurt?"

"He's been here a lot longer than you."

"How long has he left?" Blaine mumbled.

"It's not about how long you have left here Blaine, it's how long till you feel ready to leave. Kurt isn't ready yet, he's making good progress though. Meeting and befriending you is a good step."

"He's nearly ready to leave?"

"I think so." Charlie smiled. "Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning. Call me if you need anything."

Blaine didn't say anything, he nodded his head so Charlie would leave him alone and then when the door was closed he let out another frustrated sob. Kurt was getting better. Kurt was nearly ready for him to leave. Blaine had made Kurt better enough to leave him. Blaine didn't want Kurt to go. Blaine needed Kurt there with him. Kurt was making him better too yet he was stuck here. He couldn't be here without Kurt. He just couldn't.


	23. Chapter 23

Sorry about the delay guys! My internet hasn't been on for the days so couldn't get time to post this :( You have a double update though :D

Kurt

"Hey!" Kurt let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding as he walked over to Blaine who was sitting in the canteen area. He was at the back table where Kurt normally sat. His eyes were down and he didn't even look up as Kurt made his way towards him. "Are you okay?" Blaine shrugged. Kurt didn't like quiet Blaine, it was weird and made his head and his heart hurt. "Blaine."

"I'm fine." Blaine sighed looking up at him. His eyes were wild and red. Kurt could tell he had had no sleep. His hair was a mess around his head and he looked a wreck.

"You don't look fine." Kurt said wearily.

"Who are you to tell me how I look?" Blaine snapped. Kurt frowned, he was halfway through sitting opposite him and he stopped, he didn't want to sit with Blaine when he was acting like this. "Sorry." Blaine sighed, his fingers combing restlessly through his hair. "I'm just..."

"It's fine." Kurt whispered shakily. He didn't like the way Blaine had spoken to him. It wasn't the Blaine he had come to know, come to like. It was a scary Blaine, a Blaine who reminded him too much of a past he was trying to hide from.

"No, it's not. Don't lie to me." Blaine sighed. "I'm not feeling right."

"Do you want me to get Charlie?" Kurt offered. Getting Charlie would make everything better, he could help Blaine and then he could tell Kurt that he didn't need to be scared of Blaine. Blaine was just upset and going through something weird. There was no need to be scared of him.

"No. I'm just going to go back to my bed." Blaine nodded. "I didn't sleep very well."

"Do you want me to help you?" Kurt whispered, even though this Blaine was scaring him, he didn't want Blaine to be on his own, not when he was like this.

"I don't need any help." Blaine mumbled. "I'm...I'd like the company though."

"Then let's go." Kurt whispered.

"Isn't it time for your breakfast?" Blaine asked quietly.

"It's half past seven." Kurt nodded. "Breakfast finishes at eight, I'd be in the library by nine."

"So I'll see you later?" Blaine sighed.

"I...No. I'll grab a snack bar and so will you and then we can go and sit in your room."

"Are you sure?" Blaine frowned, his eyes not quite believing what Kurt was saying.

"I'm sure." Kurt nodded. "Now, chocolate or fruit snack bar?"

"Fruit, because you'd shake your head at me if I asked for the chocolate." Blaine smiled weakly. Kurt liked that he was smiling a little now. It was like the old Blaine again.

"I would." Kurt smiled, he liked that Blaine knew him that well.

"Come on then." Blaine walked ahead of Kurt. Kurt took that time to stare at Blaine as he walked. His muscles looked stiff, he could tell that he had had a restless nights sleep, he looked exhausted and like a zombie just rising from the dead. Kurt shook his head. he didn't like that simile. Blaine wasn't like a zombie. Blaine was alive. He just needed to have a good nights sleep.

Once in Blaine's bedroom, Blaine made his way to his bed and threw himself down. Kurt watched him, the way Blaine was spread out on his bed showed Kurt that he didn't want Kurt next to him right now. Kurt didn't mind, he didn't know if he wanted to sit beside Blaine right now either. Not when his moods were swinging back and forth. Kurt pulled out the desk chair and sat on it, his legs kicking idly as he watched Blaine. he didn't know if he was asleep already or not.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you." Blaine mumbled against the pillow.

"It's okay." Kurt nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Blaine shook his head. Kurt smiled at the head of curly hair that was moving back and forth.

"Okay, if you do I'm here." Kurt replied softly.

"I know." Blaine sighed, he turned his head to look at Kurt. "I wrote a letter to Cooper."

"You did?" Kurt grinned. "Have you sent it yet?" Blaine shook his head. "Why not? He won't be able to read it if you don't send it to him." Kurt smiled.

"I know, but I'm scared." Blaine admitted looking down sadly.

"Are you scared of him ignoring the letter? Or of him replying?" Kurt said quietly.

"You sound like Charlie." Blaine groaned.

"Did you tell him?" Kurt asked, he would be surprised if he had. Blaine shook his head. "Why?"

"Because I spoke to you. I didn't need to tell him." Blaine shrugged.

"Okay." Kurt nodded. "So are you going to send it?"

"Probably." Blaine looked over at Kurt. "We'll never be like you and Finn."

"No." Kurt reasoned. "But you could be more than you are now."

"You really do sound like Charlie." Blaine chuckled.

"Guess I've been here a long time, maybe I'm picking up the talk."

"How long have you been here?" Blaine asked, Charlie hadn't been very clear.

"Almost seven months." Kurt looked down. "I wasn't supposed to be here this long."

"How come you still are?" Blaine asked, sitting up slightly.

"I was just...I wasn't recovering. I wasn't trying to." Kurt sighed, he was embarrassed. He knew he was one of the longest-term patients here. He knew that it was killing his dad every time he had to sign a contract to say that Kurt would be staying another month.

"What about now?" Blaine whispered.

"I don't know." Kurt shrugged honestly.

"I don't know what I would do if you were to ever leave me here." Blaine said looking down.

"Is that why you were upset this morning?" Kurt asked.

"I guess. It's stupid." Blaine shrugged, picking at his fingers.

"It's not stupid." Kurt whispered, he stood up from the chair and walked over to him. "I don't know what I'd do without you either, Blaine."

"You'll be out there, with your life and I'll be stuck." Blaine argued.

"No." Kurt shook his head. "I'll be out there without you. Without my only friend. I don't know if I could make it."

"What are we going to do?" Blaine whispered, he moved over slightly so he could rest his head on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt smiled, he liked Blaine close to him like that.

"We get better." Blaine nodded.

"Together?" Kurt smiled.

"Together." Blaine nodded. "Now, it's almost nine shall we go to the library?" 2

"Let's." Kurt grinned.


	24. Chapter 24

Blaine

Blaine stared at Kurt. He was reading. He looked so lost in the book that Blaine couldn't even imagine disturbing him. Blaine didn't feel like looking at any books today, since he had told his dad that he wanted to do some school work he was just waiting for it to get sent in. When he got his work then he would do something more productive during library time. Right now he was just content in staring at Kurt and thinking about the events of the morning.

His dreams and thoughts had been full of loneliness. Kurt hadn't been there. In one dream Kurt had told Blaine that he was better and he never wanted to see Blaine again. In another, Kurt had left Blaine without a goodbye. But they were all the same. Kurt had left him. Blaine had woken up around three in the morning, his head aching, his body drenched in sweat. His clothes dripping wet. He had just sat on his bed, his head resting in his lap as he sobbed. Kurt was going to get better and he was going to leave him alone.

When Kurt had spoken to him in the canteen, Blaine couldn't help but be angry at him. Even though he knew that the Kurt who had deserted him in his dreams was not the confused Kurt that was trying to make sure he was okay, Blaine still acted like a dick and he instantly regretted it. Kurt had been patient with him, something he had never accepted him to be. Blaine didn't deserve his patience. Blaine didn't think he deserved Kurt full stop.

"I think if we're going to get better together we are going to need to create an action plan." Kurt said, closing the book and making Blaine jump out of his thoughts.

"Okay?" Blaine frowned a little confused.

"We're not going to get better if we don't try." Kurt said quietly.

"So what are you suggesting we do?" Blaine asked, sitting up a little more he crossed his legs and watched Kurt intently.

"Maybe we should talk to Charlie?" Kurt suggested. "He's always giving me goals and things that I should try and achieve."

"Like what?" Blaine asked curiously. Charlie hadn't given him any goals since he had been here. Did that mean he didn't think there was a point because Blaine was never going to get better?

"Well, my latest one is to walk through a door and not open and close it three times." Kurt sighed.

"Oh." Blaine nodded. Kurt always did that. Sometimes he looked as though it was troubling him as he did so, other times it looked completely natural.

"Maybe we can work on that together?" Blaine smiled.

"I don't know. I..."

"Why do you do it?" Blaine asked.

"What do you mean? it just sort of happened. If i don't the secrets they leave the room and bad stuff happens to me." Kurt whispered, his eyes shining with tears.

"When did you first do it?" Blaine asked, his voice soft and calm, maybe he was starting to sound like Charlie now?

"After he..." Kurt looked down, he wiped his eyes roughly. Not looking at Blaine. "I don't want to talk about this."

"Okay." Blaine nodded, he could tell that Kurt was lost in his own thoughts and he wanted to get him out of them, scared he wouldn't get him back. "Let's go outside, I think I'm ready to tell you about what happened to me."

Kurt looked up slowly. "You sure?"

"Yes." Blaine nodded, he knew this would be his first step in helping them both, and right now he would do anything for Kurt, even if it was the hardest thing he thought he would ever do.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: I'm so sorry about the wait for this chapter. I've had writers block for this story but all of a sudden it sparked back up again and I hope you are all still interested in this. And I'm really sorry for this :(

Chapter 25

Blaine

Now he was sitting with Kurt under their tree, or at least Blaine thought of it as their tree; they were the only ones who ever sat underneath it, and it felt safe, it was where they could be themselves and Blaine didn't want anyone to sit there but them. He had no idea what to say to Kurt. Yes he wanted to tell him the truth, and yes he felt as though he was ready to tell him the truth. But he had never spoken about it. Charlie knew only what his dad had guessed had happened. Most of it was right, some of it a lighter version that Blaine could never correct his dad on. But now Kurt was there for him to share everything with, and he was scared. Telling him what had happened would mean it was real. It wouldn't be speculation any more. It would be the truth. It would be the sad traumatic truth that Blaine wouldn't be able to run away from anymore.

"I think I get why you close doors three times." Blaine mumbled wishing he could close the door five hundred times on his secrets so that they could never come out.

"I think it's time we both start opening some doors, don't you?" Kurt's voice was so soft, so gentle. Blaine knew then that no matter what he told Kurt, he would never be looked at any different. Kurt would always be there for him. Always.

"Yes." Blaine took a deep breath, he moved closer against the tree as though the branches would reach down and wrap him against the trunk, protecting him from the scary world around them.

Kurt moved a little closer to him, their knees brushing and he waited patiently for Blaine to speak.

"I was six when it first happened." Blaine whispered. "I didn't understand it, not really. I knew I didn't like it. I know that I screamed and begged for him to stop, but there was no one around to hear me. He was supposed to look after me. He said that's what he was doing." Blaine said shakily. He didn't dare open his eyes, he knew that Kurt would only be looking at him with those ever caring blue orbs, but he was scared he would find judgement there.

"I wanted to tell my dad so bad." Blaine continued, his voice growing stronger when Kurt pressed a hand to his knee. At first the touch had startled him, but then he felt Kurt's thumb rubbing soft circles over his jeans, Blaine met Kurt's hand with his own and they linked their fingers on Blaine's knee and he had the strength now to continue his story. "He kept on telling me it was our little secret. It would make daddy sad to know that I was dirty now." Blaine wiped his eyes, not knowing at what point he had started to cry. "I tried so bad to make it stop. I cried every time my dad said he was leaving me with him, hoping it would make him stay. I begged Cooper to take me out with him, but I was just a stupid little kid to him. He didn't want me hanging around him and his friends." Blaine sighed, a little bitter thinking about his brother. "It stopped nine months ago." Blaine mumbled, he heard a gasp come from Kurt, had he not expected the abuse to go on for so long? "I wasn't his type anymore." Blaine laughed, an evil twisted sound that left his lips, that neither he or Kurt recognised. "Whenever he saw me he would tell me that no one would want me for anything but sex, no one would love me, that's why I went out every night, why I found someone to use me. To...Make me feel wanted."

"Oh Blaine." Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine, holding him so tightly that Blaine couldn't feel anything but safe or secure.

"I just feel so dirty Kurt." Blaine was sobbing now, he didn't know how to stop.

"You're not dirty." Kurt promised him. "You don't need sex to make you feel wanted. i want you. I want you as a friend. I want you in my life. I love you."

"You love me?" Blaine stuttered, he pulled his face from Kurt's shoulder, grimacing when he saw the horrible wet patch he had left on Kurt's shirt, he hated to think what he looked like now.

"I love you." Kurt nodded. "I've never had a friend here before. I love you,"

"Just as a friend?" Blaine whispered.

"I'm not ready to love you as anything else yet." Kurt whispered back looking down. "Is this love enough?"

"More than enough." Blaine said softly, tilting Kurt's chin up with a finger and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, he smiled to himself when he saw that Kurt didn't even flinch from the contact. "We've both made good steps today."

"We have." Kurt smiled wrapping his arms around him again.

"Oh and Kurt." Blaine whispered in his ear. "I love you too."


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: Thank you for the reviews, I am glad that I haven't lost all of my readers for this story :)

I'm sorry about the shortness of this chapter, I'm really far behind with coursework deadlines so I didn't have time to make this chapter longer, but I think it ends where it's needed so I will have more to write for the next chapter :D

Thanks to Shelly for getting this back to me quickly, even when she's not feeling 100% she's amazing! Love ya!

Chapter 26

"I don't think I want to tell Charlie that we are ready to get better." Kurt whispered. It was the day after Blaine had confessed what had happened to him, and Kurt had spent all night tossing and turning in bed with the images of a young Blaine being so badly hurt in his dreams. It had been the first time his nightmares hadn't been about himself and he wasn't quite sure what to make of it, all he knew was that he would rather see himself being torn apart than ever see it happening to Blaine again.

"Why?" Blaine frowned as he tore a slice of toast apart. Kurt rolled his eyes at the mess Blaine was making, his eyes stuck on the crumbs. Blaine's eyes followed his and he wiped them away with a napkin. Kurt felt as though he could breathe again now that the dirt was gone.

"If we tell him that we are trying so hard and something happens and we can't do it... He'll think we can't do it." Kurt whispered.

"You don't like people seeing you fail?" Blaine asked gently.

"No. I don't. It's weak. And being weak is exactly why I'm here." Kurt sighed, his voice irritated. Why couldn't Blaine see that?

"Okay." Blaine sighed. He had more to say on the matter but didn't want to push it anymore. "For now we can do it just the two of us."

"Thank you." Kurt whispered. He was a little surprised that Blaine had dropped it so quickly but he knew he would be hearing more about this later.

"We should make a little list or something in the library today. Little goals we think we should both be aiming for." Blaine said before finishing his toast.

"Okay." Kurt nodded. "So you do one for me and I do one for you?"

"Exactly." Blaine nodded. "I think that way they might be a little more challenging."

"Great." Kurt sighed.

"But not impossible." Blaine assured him.

"Not impossible." Kurt repeated.

Kurt was sitting on his chair at the library, notebook and pen in his hand as he stared at Blaine who was scribbling away somewhat excitedly on his piece of paper. His school work had come and he was using that to lean on. Kurt couldn't imagine Blaine at school, he had no idea what the curly haired boy would have been like. He made a note to ask him about it.

Back to his list for Blaine, it was empty. He wanted so much for the other boy but he had no idea where he should start. Kurt sighed and started to scribble some things down, half of which he wasn't sure if it made sense or not.

"I've finished." Blaine grinned an hour later.

"You have?" Kurt smiled, he wasn't too sure if he had finished himself but he had a few things down that he was sure to help Blaine.

"Yes. Let's go to our tree and we can show each other what we have done."

"Okay." Kurt smiled, his stomach twisting nervously. What if Blaine had so much written down about him? That would mean that Kurt had a long way to go before he was better! And what if it was only one or two things, then did that mean that Blaine didn't care about him?

"Only if you want to." Blaine said, picking up on Kurt's nerves.

"I do." He nodded

"Then let's go." Blaine pulled himself up and walked out of the library, turning his head to make sure Kurt was following him. Which he was.

"I have got these." Blaine smiled looking proud. "And some sound really silly but I think that it will help."

"Okay. Can you read them to me?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Course. Okay. First one I put was to smile more because you have a beautiful smile. And smiling means that you're happy and I want you to be happy."

Kurt blushed and looked down sheepishly, a small smile trying to hide itself from Blaine.

"The next one is to wear more colour."

"Why?" Kurt frowned.

"Finn told me how you used to wear these amazing outfits. Designer and bright and I think you should be true to yourself and wear them."

"I don't think I can." Kurt whispered, his hands starting to pick at his knees nervously.

"Why not?" Blaine asked gently.

"I just can't!" Kurt snapped. "This was a stupid idea. I'm going to my room." Kurt stood up and left his list on the floor and before Blaine had a chance to follow him, Kurt was gone.


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: So I'm sorry about the delay, I've had a busy couple of days at work, and just been feeling kinda stressed and this chapter just didn't want to write :(

I hope I can get some more chapters up soon :D

Thanks to Shelly for doing this for me and working with some weird typos lol

Chapter 27

Blaine was angry, no, he was pissed. He had never put so much energy into helping someone for them to just throw it back in his face. Standing up, Blaine did the only thing he could think of to let his anger out. He took it out on the tree. Screaming in frustration as his anger turned into pain.

"Blaine..." Charlie's concerned voice shouted as he rushed over.

"God damnit!" Blaine cursed as he grabbed his foot.

"Sit down on the bench come on." Charlie said softly as he took his arm and helped him over go the bench. Blaine sat down gratefully, rubbing his foot through his sneaker. "Can you take it off so you can see the damage?"

"It's fine." Blaine huffed.

"Are you sure?" Charlie asked gently.

"Yes." Blaine muttered, still rubbing his foot. "I left a piece of paper. Can you grab it for me please?"

"Sure," Charlie jumped up and grabbed Blaine's things from the grass. "Have you been doing your school work?"

"No not yet I haven't had a chance to look at it. Me and Kurt were doing something,"

"What were you doing?" Charlie asked curiously.

"Kurt doesn't really want you to know yet." Blaine answered honestly knowing there was no real use lying to him. "But it's nothing bad, we are just trying to help each other."

"Okay I think that's good. You two could both use that support from one another."

"We could." Blaine sighed, he took Kurt's list for him off the pile and fiddled with the corners.

"You know if you wanted to talk to me, Kurt wouldn't have to know." Charlie said softly. "You two wanting to help each other is such an amazing idea but you are both struggling with issues that need a mixture of psychiatric and medical help."

"I wanted you to know, but Kurt was scared he would fail and you would see." Blaine whispered. "I was just trying to help but now I think he hates me."

"Why would you think that? I bet it's not true." Charlie frowned.

"We made each other little lists, things we think could help the other get better. I told him one of the things on my list, he freaked out and rushed off." Blaine sighed, his eyes tearing up.

"May I ask what it is you wrote?" Charlie asked, placing a soft hand on Blaine's shoulder and squeezing it softly.

"I just said that he should wear the clothes he used to because they sounded amazing." Blaine shrugged. "I don't get why it was a bad thing to say."

"Some people believe that the clothes you wear reflects what kind of person you are. Because of what happened to him, and because Kurt blames himself he doesn't want anything to do with the extravagant clothes that he used to wear, those clothes made him who he was. And because he thinks who he was is the reason he was treated like that in school. He doesn't want to be that person any more."

"Oh." Blaine sighed resting his head in his hands.

"Do you get what I'm trying to say?"

"Think so. What do I do to make it better?" Blaine asked somewhat desperately.

"I think you should say sorry to Kurt, I know deep down you haven't done anything wrong but I think he just needs someone on his side. It will be a slow process but maybe introduce some fashion magazines back into his life, make him see the clothes and want them."

"That's a good idea." Blaine smiled. "I can do that."

"So is that his list for you?" Charlie asked softly. When Blaine nodded Charlie said "shall we read it?"

"Yeah." Blaine whispered but made no attempt to open the folded piece of paper. Charlie didn't push him, just sat and waited patiently for Blaine to find the strength he needed, it took about five minutes before the paper was opened and Blaine was staring at it with teary eyes.

"What does it say?" Charlie asked softly.

"Number 1." Blaine started. "Before bed each night say out loud how another person has made you feel good about yourself without having sex with you."

"That's an interesting one. Do you think you'd be able to do that?"

"I think so yeah,". Blaine nodded. "Shall I read the next?"

"If you want to."

"Number 2, say three positive things about yourself every morning and an extra one at night time."

"What do you think?"

"I don't think I will be able to do that." Blaine said honestly. "I can't think of that many good things about myself,"

"Can you think good things about Kurt?" Blaine nodded with a frown. "For now then why don't you think of three good things about Kurt and he can do the same for you then you talk about them and maybe you two will start believing them."

"Okay." Blaine smiled. "I can think of endless good things about Kurt."

"And I'm sure he can for you too." He smiles.

"I want to read the rest with Kurt." Blaine smiled folding the paper. "Is that okay?"

"Of course it is." Charlie smile. "Go and see him. If you think he needs to see me just press the call button okay?"

"Okay. Thanks Charlie." Blaine smiled and rushed off to Kurt's room knowing just what to say to Kurt to hopefully make him see how wonderful he is.


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: Sorry about the delay, I've been on holiday, but I am back now and itching to write :D

Chapter 28

Blaine walked into Kurt's room slowly. He didn't want to just intrude, but he knew if he knocked Kurt would have ignored him. Carefully, Blaine walked over and sat beside Kurt who was staring blankly at the wall, it was almost as though Kurt hadn't seen him come in.

"I told you I wanted to be alone." Kurt sighed, not looking at Blaine but not pushing him away either.

"Beautiful. Witty. Strong." Blaine said ignoring the comment Kurt had made.

Sighing, Kurt turned his head to look at Blaine. "You read your list."

"I did." Blaine nodded. "But like you, I had a certain issue with some of the things but I couldn't tell you because you ran off. Without telling me what the problem was..."

"What issues did you have?" Kurt whispered, ignoring the second half of Blaine's comment.

"Those three words to describe myself... I can't think of myself in that light yet. I try but it's hard."

"But those three words..."

"Were about you." Blaine breathed.

"Me?" Kurt shook his head. "I'm not beautiful."

"Kurt you're the most beautiful person in the world."

Kurt blushed and looked down, Blaine's words meant so much to him. "Enthusiastic, energetic, handsome." Kurt looked up at Blaine shyly. "Your words."

"You think I'm Handsome? No one's called me that before." Blaine smiled, for a split second he let his mind wander to the more vulgar things men had called him and shook his head. "Handsome."

"Like a prince." Kurt added making Blaine blush even more.

"So, shall we talk about your issue with what I wrote?"

Sighing, Kurt nodded before he started to speak. "If I wear those clothes and people notice me...I'll get hurt again."

"Kurt. Can I be brutally honest with you?" Kurt nodded shakily. "No matter what you wore, you could have worn a football uniform or whatever and if whoever hurt you still knew you were gay. Then you would have been hurt anyway."

Kurt looked down, he hadn't thought of it that way. "I rubbed it in his face."

"Maybe. But you chose not to be in the closet. You chose to wear amazing clothes and show the world how fucking fabulous you are." Blaine sighed. "You just need to be yourself, people don't have a problem with you, people have a problem with homosexuality. That's not your problem. It's theirs." He sighed.

"It is?" He whispered.

"Yes. It is." Blaine promised. "Please believe me."

"I'll try." He whispered.

"That's all I'm asking for you to do," he says softly. "Just to be okay."

"Okay," Kurt smiled and reached out his hand to hold Blaine's. Blaine took his hand with a smile, his thumb gently running over Kurt's fingers making the smaller boy shiver.

"Shall we talk about the rest of the lists?" Blaine asked.

"Can we talk about it later?" Kurt asked quietly. "I'm tired and I just like sitting here with you."

"Then that is what we shall do." Blaine smiled, he pulled Kurt a little closer so that they were all pressed against against each other and that was how Kurt fell asleep; his head resting in the crook of Blaine's neck and Blaine's head resting on his.

-x-

"I miss you dad." Blaine said softly down the phone. Charlie had just woken him up where he had fallen asleep against Kurt in his room, Kurt was still fast asleep and hadn't moved from where he was sleeping against Blaine. After his couple of hours sleep Blaine was too wired to sleep.

"Miss you too. Charlie tells me you are doing well." He could tell his dad was smiling and that was something that made him smile too.

"You've spoken to Charlie?" Blaine frowned.

"I call every day to ask about you." His dad chuckled.

"You don't call me every day." Blaine said sadly.

"I know, because I know some of the issues you have to deal with there are because of me. And I don't want you to feel that I am forcing the need for us to speak on you."

"Oh." Blaine smiled. That kind of made sense. "You can call me whenever you want to, dad."

"Then I will call you every day."

"Okay, good." Blaine smiled.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" His father asked.

"I fell asleep earlier I can't go back to sleep so soon," he whispered.

"It's not like you to sleep during the day, is everything okay?"

"Yeah me and Kurt just had a fight, well a disagreement, and then we made up and fell asleep."

"When you say you made up..."

"We had a cuddle and fell asleep once we apologised. Kurt sleeps when he's emotional."

"Okay, as long as that's all you did."

"Dad. I'm on medication that stops me thinking like that."

"Oh right. Okay." His father said somewhat awkwardly in response. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you. Did... Is Cooper okay?"

"He is. He asks about you every day."

"I've written him a letter. I need to send it. I'm scared."

"I think you should send it. He's down soon, maybe I could bring him down to see you?"

"I don't want him here dad." Blaine sighed. "He'll just judge me."

"No. He wouldn't do that." His dad said softly. "I promise you he wouldn't."

"I just... I think he hates me." Blaine whispered, admitting it made his heart feel heavy. Cooper hating him was one of his fears. Blaine deep down knew he should be the one who hated him, Cooper ran off to college and left him suffering. Cooper had promised him that he would always be there, an when it got bad, when Blaine really needed him Cooper had left. Maybe it wasn't hate that Blaine felt, maybe it was jealousy. Cooper could get away and Blaine had been stuck.

"Hey Blaine you there?" His father's voice made him jump out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry. Was just thinking." Blaine mumbled quietly. "What did you say?"

"I said Cooper doesn't hate you, why would you think that he would?" His father's voice was so gentle, Blaine wished he was with him now so he could wrap his arms around him and hold him tight.

"He got away dad. He... Cooper left. Cooper wasn't the one to get hurt." Blaine didn't know when he had started to cry, but he couldn't stop.

"You wish it was him...?" His father asked trying to make sense of the sobbed words his son was saying.

"No!" Blaine said sharply. "I would never wish it on anyone. Especially not Cooper!" Blaine insisted. "I just... He got away and I couldn't. I was stuck and alone."

"Oh Blaine." His father breathed, he was crying now too. "I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault." Blaine whispered. "I think I'm going to go Dad."

"Oh okay, can I call you tomorrow?" His father asked almost desperately but the line had gone dead.

Blaine's father stared at the phone with teary eyes, he wanted so badly to phone Blaine back, to make sure he was okay but he knew he should leave it. Things would be okay. Instead he did the next best thing, he sent an email to Charlie letting him know what had happened on the phone and to keep an extra eye on Blaine, knowing his son would need it.


End file.
